Actual comments made by patients

[Unthinkable]

A gastroenterologist claims these are actual comments made by his patients
while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in
fact, up there?"

6. "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must aquit!"

10. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

[Nick]

"Doctor, are you supposed to be performing a prostate exam with both of your hands firmly gripping my shoulders?" :eek2:

[Unthinkable]

lol

[Nick]

A man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got a problem, but if
you're going to treat it, first you've got to promise not to laugh."

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In
over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," the man said, and proceeded to drop his trousers,
revealing the tiniest penis the doctor has ever seen.

Unable to control himself, the doctor fell laughing to the floor. Ten
minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his
composure.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor
as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now
what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen."