John Corn
02-15-03, 11:57 AM
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a
press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the
road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart
it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to
drive, - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has
Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would
have to learn how to drive all over again because none
of the controls would operate in the same manner as
the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
engine off.
:lol:
for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a
press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the
road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart
it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to
drive, - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has
Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before
deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would
have to learn how to drive all over again because none
of the controls would operate in the same manner as
the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
engine off.
:lol: