real headlines

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These are real headlines,


Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery: Hundred Dead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
“Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in Ten Years
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
War Dims Hope for Peace
If strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency.
Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead.
Queen Mary having bottom scraped.
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water.
Police found safe hidden under bed.
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.
Organ festival ends in smashing climax.
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni.
Never withhold herpes infection from loved one.
NJ judge to rule on nude beach.
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Blind Woman gets new kidney from Daughter she hasn’t seen in years
British Union Finds Dwards in Short supply