Stuart Sweet
03-10-09, 08:08 AM
Friends, it's that time again, and here we go with season eight of Dancing with the Stars!
Week one opened without credits, either because they weren't finished in time or because the producers simply wanted to draw out the suspense surrounding the replacement dancers. Of course, it was impossible to avoid leaked information about the two replacements, so I'm not sure that tactic worked. The excitement level was low going into the first dance, and to be honest, I think that carried through the whole night.
"Lil' Kim," and I presume "Lil'" is not short for Lillian, kicked off the night with a tired-looking Derek Hough. She dedicated her dancing to her sisters in the penitentiary in which she stayed. She and Mr. Hough danced a serviceable cha-cha, and for the first dance of the night it was not bad. The judges were a bit nicer than I would have been: 7/7/7.
Belinda Carlisle, the heroine of many a dream from an early-1980s teenager, was next with Jonathan Roberts, the self-proclaimed "Nice Guy of Dance." Their waltz was serviceable but very slow; the more the music is slowed from its original tempo the more you know that the dancer is having trouble. I generally have a soft spot in my heart for the over-40 women on this show, but I haven't warmed to Ms. Carlisle so far. She is a heavy and sloppy dancer, which I would not have expected. 6/6/5.
This year's entry from the world of football is Lawrence Taylor, paired with the always-professional and rarely-clothed Edyta Sliwinska. While there's a lot of enthusiasm there, this was a slow, slow, slow cha-cha and I don't know if Mr. Taylor has it in him to be the kind of surprise hit we've seen from the football world before. The judges agreed: 6/5/5.
"Steve-O." Friends, you know how much I love it when a performer can't be bothered to use the last name his parents gave him. I've never been a fan of this gentleman's, and like Ms. Kim, Mr. -O comes to us from the seedy side. I admire this, his attempt to go further in reforming. Unfortunately, I cannot admire his dancing. Oh, Ms. Schwimmer, just when I'd finally become a fan I'm saddened that I won't see you for very long. I did not enjoy this immature and awkward waltz... Mr. -O looked like a clumsy robot. The judges seemed with me on this one: 6/5/6
When Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke took the dance floor, I finally saw a spot of hope and not a moment too soon. Mr. Marini is graceful and full of natural confidence. If he's a good student, the two of them should go far. The judges responded with an optimistic 8/8/8.
The Dancing with the Stars producers intended there to be three couples on the dance floor this season, and the one dancing together, Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough should be interesting to watch. The edited package played up a bit of the dynamic between the two. She needs to be the teacher there, and he needs to be the student. If we're to believe what we're seeing, that will be the big challenge. Still, they pulled off a lovely, romantic waltz, aided by the night's best costumes. Sadly, a lift marred their first performance. It's hard to say if points were deducted for it, though. I suspect they got a warning for their first offense, as they managed to score 6/7/7.
I admire Holly Madison for jumping in at the last moment and taking on a physically challenging role. Still, Dmitri Chaplin looks to have quite an uphill battle if he plans to transform this reality star into a dancer. She led with her bottom, quite simply. I'm not sure that's quite proper for a cha-cha. The judges seem to have taken her relative newness into account and gave her an extraordinarily generous 6/6/6.
Quick sidebar, friends: Mr. -O, Ms. Madison, Ms. Rycroft, Ms. Kim, Ms. Schwimmer, Ms. Hightower... what do they all have in common? They've all appeared on reality TV before. Isn't there another talent pool the producers can pick from?
I enjoyed seeing Chelsie Hightower, late of So You Think You Can Dance? but I think the less said about Ty Murray the better. He seems to be a gentle, self-effacing man who knows he's not cut out for this. I hope that he'll make it another week or two because I do so like Miss Hightower. While she's out-cuted by Miss Johnson, she'd normally be the most adorable person in any room, no matter how many puppies are in it. The judges unkindly offered: 5/4/5.
On, then, to Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas. Miss Johnson is so cute, I think I'd need a barrel full of buttons to describe her. She's no dancer, not yet, and by her own admission her gymnastic training was more hindrance than help. Still, she's dedicated and adorable, a combination that tends to take one far on this program. I give special commendation to Mr. Ballas because he towers over Miss Johnson and yet it doesn't show in the dancing. On the floor they seem perfectly suited. Well done: 8/8/7
Tonight, friends, on Train Wreck Theatre, we have one of my personal idols, Steve Wozniak dancing with Karina Smirnoff. I admire the man even more for taking on something at which he can, and did, suffer such complete embarassment. Their disco-chacha was painful to watch, and was sadly not aided by Ms. Smirnoff's censor-pushing outfit. I noticed that the producers kept the lights off her in full-frame shots... that outfit redefined "barely there," didn't it? The judges responded with 5/4/4
The actor who first broke out in 1986 as "Don 'No Soul' Simmons", David Alan Grier was partnered with Kym Johnson who seems to go from having good partners to goofy ones depending on the season. I'm not sure what demographic Mr. Grier serves. Perhaps people too old to think Mr. -O is funny? At any rate, while he seemed like a bit annoying in the edited piece his dancing was fairly decent and his waltz earned him 6/7/6. Nice nod to In Living Color, too, where Ms. Inaba also appeared if I'm not mistaken.
As the night wore on, we were treated to a largely unmemorable performance by Denise Richards and Maksim Chmerkovsky. We know Mr. Chmerkovsky can do great choreography but it remains to be seen if Ms. Richards can dance. Judges: 6/6/6.
Finally, Mr. Bergeron introduced the last-minute substitution, Melissa Rycroft who, partnered with Tony Dovolani delivered a dance that was quite good for two days' work, and her score of 8/7/8 should keep her on long enough to get up to speed.
No dancing tonight, and we conclude next week with 13 more dances and one elimination.
My pick for the bottom two: Mr. Wozniak and Mr. -O.
My guess for who goes home: Mr. Wozniak (sorry)
Week one opened without credits, either because they weren't finished in time or because the producers simply wanted to draw out the suspense surrounding the replacement dancers. Of course, it was impossible to avoid leaked information about the two replacements, so I'm not sure that tactic worked. The excitement level was low going into the first dance, and to be honest, I think that carried through the whole night.
"Lil' Kim," and I presume "Lil'" is not short for Lillian, kicked off the night with a tired-looking Derek Hough. She dedicated her dancing to her sisters in the penitentiary in which she stayed. She and Mr. Hough danced a serviceable cha-cha, and for the first dance of the night it was not bad. The judges were a bit nicer than I would have been: 7/7/7.
Belinda Carlisle, the heroine of many a dream from an early-1980s teenager, was next with Jonathan Roberts, the self-proclaimed "Nice Guy of Dance." Their waltz was serviceable but very slow; the more the music is slowed from its original tempo the more you know that the dancer is having trouble. I generally have a soft spot in my heart for the over-40 women on this show, but I haven't warmed to Ms. Carlisle so far. She is a heavy and sloppy dancer, which I would not have expected. 6/6/5.
This year's entry from the world of football is Lawrence Taylor, paired with the always-professional and rarely-clothed Edyta Sliwinska. While there's a lot of enthusiasm there, this was a slow, slow, slow cha-cha and I don't know if Mr. Taylor has it in him to be the kind of surprise hit we've seen from the football world before. The judges agreed: 6/5/5.
"Steve-O." Friends, you know how much I love it when a performer can't be bothered to use the last name his parents gave him. I've never been a fan of this gentleman's, and like Ms. Kim, Mr. -O comes to us from the seedy side. I admire this, his attempt to go further in reforming. Unfortunately, I cannot admire his dancing. Oh, Ms. Schwimmer, just when I'd finally become a fan I'm saddened that I won't see you for very long. I did not enjoy this immature and awkward waltz... Mr. -O looked like a clumsy robot. The judges seemed with me on this one: 6/5/6
When Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke took the dance floor, I finally saw a spot of hope and not a moment too soon. Mr. Marini is graceful and full of natural confidence. If he's a good student, the two of them should go far. The judges responded with an optimistic 8/8/8.
The Dancing with the Stars producers intended there to be three couples on the dance floor this season, and the one dancing together, Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough should be interesting to watch. The edited package played up a bit of the dynamic between the two. She needs to be the teacher there, and he needs to be the student. If we're to believe what we're seeing, that will be the big challenge. Still, they pulled off a lovely, romantic waltz, aided by the night's best costumes. Sadly, a lift marred their first performance. It's hard to say if points were deducted for it, though. I suspect they got a warning for their first offense, as they managed to score 6/7/7.
I admire Holly Madison for jumping in at the last moment and taking on a physically challenging role. Still, Dmitri Chaplin looks to have quite an uphill battle if he plans to transform this reality star into a dancer. She led with her bottom, quite simply. I'm not sure that's quite proper for a cha-cha. The judges seem to have taken her relative newness into account and gave her an extraordinarily generous 6/6/6.
Quick sidebar, friends: Mr. -O, Ms. Madison, Ms. Rycroft, Ms. Kim, Ms. Schwimmer, Ms. Hightower... what do they all have in common? They've all appeared on reality TV before. Isn't there another talent pool the producers can pick from?
I enjoyed seeing Chelsie Hightower, late of So You Think You Can Dance? but I think the less said about Ty Murray the better. He seems to be a gentle, self-effacing man who knows he's not cut out for this. I hope that he'll make it another week or two because I do so like Miss Hightower. While she's out-cuted by Miss Johnson, she'd normally be the most adorable person in any room, no matter how many puppies are in it. The judges unkindly offered: 5/4/5.
On, then, to Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas. Miss Johnson is so cute, I think I'd need a barrel full of buttons to describe her. She's no dancer, not yet, and by her own admission her gymnastic training was more hindrance than help. Still, she's dedicated and adorable, a combination that tends to take one far on this program. I give special commendation to Mr. Ballas because he towers over Miss Johnson and yet it doesn't show in the dancing. On the floor they seem perfectly suited. Well done: 8/8/7
Tonight, friends, on Train Wreck Theatre, we have one of my personal idols, Steve Wozniak dancing with Karina Smirnoff. I admire the man even more for taking on something at which he can, and did, suffer such complete embarassment. Their disco-chacha was painful to watch, and was sadly not aided by Ms. Smirnoff's censor-pushing outfit. I noticed that the producers kept the lights off her in full-frame shots... that outfit redefined "barely there," didn't it? The judges responded with 5/4/4
The actor who first broke out in 1986 as "Don 'No Soul' Simmons", David Alan Grier was partnered with Kym Johnson who seems to go from having good partners to goofy ones depending on the season. I'm not sure what demographic Mr. Grier serves. Perhaps people too old to think Mr. -O is funny? At any rate, while he seemed like a bit annoying in the edited piece his dancing was fairly decent and his waltz earned him 6/7/6. Nice nod to In Living Color, too, where Ms. Inaba also appeared if I'm not mistaken.
As the night wore on, we were treated to a largely unmemorable performance by Denise Richards and Maksim Chmerkovsky. We know Mr. Chmerkovsky can do great choreography but it remains to be seen if Ms. Richards can dance. Judges: 6/6/6.
Finally, Mr. Bergeron introduced the last-minute substitution, Melissa Rycroft who, partnered with Tony Dovolani delivered a dance that was quite good for two days' work, and her score of 8/7/8 should keep her on long enough to get up to speed.
No dancing tonight, and we conclude next week with 13 more dances and one elimination.
My pick for the bottom two: Mr. Wozniak and Mr. -O.
My guess for who goes home: Mr. Wozniak (sorry)