John Corn
11-01-03, 07:48 AM
A new variation on the Barbie Doll - The South Florida Barbie Doll
Boca Barbie- This pretentious bitch Barbie is
only sold at Galleria Mall, she comes with Kenneth Cole 4-inch
clunky shoes (actual size), an assortment of real Kate Spade handbags
and a mini BMW convertible. Options include the fake breast implants
and a workaholic Ken.
Sunrise Barbie- This recently paroled Barbie comes with
a mini 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, low-rider car with oversized
wheels and tinted windows.
Plantation Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your
choice of a fashionable sports car with ground effects or a supped up
Harley Davidson motorcycle and it cruises until 2:00 am.
Weston Barbie- This trendy homemaker Barbie is
available with the mini-SUV or mini-minivan vehicles, gets lost
easily, and has no full-time occupation or secondary education.
Usually confused at most mall locations. Also available to have
discrete affairs with Ken's friends and coworkers. Traffic jamming
cell phone sold separately.
Davie Barbie- this special white-trash model comes in
Wrangler jeans that are 2 sizes too small, a NASCAR
shirt, big hair, a mini Coors Light in the can, a Hank Jr. CD set,
can spit over 5 feet, and she can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk. A
mini-pickup is also available with Rebel flag bumper stickers.
The Las Olas Barbie- This model features Ken in a
sequined cocktail dress, breast implants, press-on nails,
and a really bad wig. Details include a to-go cup from Feathers, a
rainbow scarf, and a CD box set featuring Judy Garland, Billie Holiday
and assorted big show tunes
Boca Barbie- This pretentious bitch Barbie is
only sold at Galleria Mall, she comes with Kenneth Cole 4-inch
clunky shoes (actual size), an assortment of real Kate Spade handbags
and a mini BMW convertible. Options include the fake breast implants
and a workaholic Ken.
Sunrise Barbie- This recently paroled Barbie comes with
a mini 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, low-rider car with oversized
wheels and tinted windows.
Plantation Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your
choice of a fashionable sports car with ground effects or a supped up
Harley Davidson motorcycle and it cruises until 2:00 am.
Weston Barbie- This trendy homemaker Barbie is
available with the mini-SUV or mini-minivan vehicles, gets lost
easily, and has no full-time occupation or secondary education.
Usually confused at most mall locations. Also available to have
discrete affairs with Ken's friends and coworkers. Traffic jamming
cell phone sold separately.
Davie Barbie- this special white-trash model comes in
Wrangler jeans that are 2 sizes too small, a NASCAR
shirt, big hair, a mini Coors Light in the can, a Hank Jr. CD set,
can spit over 5 feet, and she can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk. A
mini-pickup is also available with Rebel flag bumper stickers.
The Las Olas Barbie- This model features Ken in a
sequined cocktail dress, breast implants, press-on nails,
and a really bad wig. Details include a to-go cup from Feathers, a
rainbow scarf, and a CD box set featuring Judy Garland, Billie Holiday
and assorted big show tunes