colonoscopies

[cooper]

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies.

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all...


12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact
not up there?"

[JBKing]

Why is your hand on my shoulder?

[Nick]

"Doctor,why are both of your hands on my shoulders?" :eek2:

"Put it in, pull it out, put it in, pull it out! Will you make up your damn mind, Doc?" :shrug:

"Gee, Doc, I thought a proctological sigmoidoscope was much longer than that!"

"Doc, after this, will I be able to play the violin?"
"Of course, I don't see why not."
"That'll be great, Doc! I can't play a single note now."