New Joke Rating System

[Nick]

I like humor, and I love telling jokes. When I'm with family and friends, everyone laughs and does thigh-slaps and high-fives to express their appreciation for a funny story. Then someone buys another round.

Around here, nothing, nada, zilch. Very few readers even take the time to toss out a smilie or two in appreciation for a well-told joke. So, after much scientific research, poll-taking and just sitting around mulling things over, I have, with great effort and personal sacrifice, developed the nearly patented Scientific Measurement Indicator for Laugh Evocation, or S.M.I.L.E. This is a 10 point scale that is used to scientically indicate the measurement of human response to a joke or funny story.

Here are the unofficial DSBTalk human response indicators, in order from funniest to not funny. Going forward, after reading a posted joke and carefully guaging your own personal response, please use one of the following graphic devices to indicate your honest reaction to the joke.

!rolling = ROTFL funny - I fell down
:D = very, very spit on my monitor funny
:lol: = very funny, chuckle or two
:grin: = funny, ehh, what's for dinner?
:sure: = alright, if you say so Daryl, now go back in the closet.
:confused: = what did you mean by that, I'm not an Eskimo?!
:whatdidid = I don't get it, but then I get very little in life
:zzz: = boring me to tears :crying_sa
:nono: = not even close to funny -- don't try to tell jokes
:kickbutt: = you should be ashamed, you embarrassed my naked grandmother!

In extreme cases, the following action-smilies may be used, but only if the joke is really, really bad, vulgar or just plain stupid.

:bonk1: = you deserve this and more!
:barf: - mfflgarg (later, dude, can't talk right now)

[ntexasdude]

Let's try it out and see if we get any responses.

(an oldie but goodie)

Ed Zachery Disease

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see a well-known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose."

The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room."

Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."

So she did.

Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass.

[rickfromthesticks]

:grin:

[Bogy]

I like humor, and I love telling jokes. When I'm with family and friends, everyone laughs and does thigh-slaps and high-fives to express their appreciation for a funny story. Then someone buys another round.

Around here, nothing, nada, zilch. Very few readers even take the time to toss out a smilie or two in appreciation for a well-told joke. So, after much scientific research, poll-taking and just sitting around mulling things over, I have, with great effort and personal sacrifice, developed the nearly patented Scientific Measurement Indicator for Laugh Evocation, or S.M.I.L.E. This is a 10 point scale that is used to scientically indicate the measurement of human response to a joke or funny story.

Here are the unofficial DSBTalk human response indicators, in order from funniest to not funny. Going forward, after reading a posted joke and carefully guaging your own personal response, please use one of the following graphic devices to indicate your honest reaction to the joke.

!rolling = ROTFL funny - I fell down
:D = very, very spit on my monitor funny
:lol: = very funny, chuckle or two
:grin: = funny, ehh, what's for dinner?
:sure: = alright, if you say so Daryl, now go back in the closet.
:confused: = what did you mean by that, I'm not an Eskimo?!
:whatdidid = I don't get it, but then I get very little in life
:zzz: = boring me to tears :crying_sa
:nono: = not even close to funny -- don't try to tell jokes
:kickbutt: = you should be ashamed, you embarrassed my naked grandmother!

In extreme cases, the following action-smilies may be used, but only if the joke is really, really bad, vulgar or just plain stupid.

:bonk1: = you deserve this and more!
:barf: - mfflgarg (later, dude, can't talk right now)
:lol: