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Angry Wife

Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by citico, Jul 23, 2009.

  1. citico

    citico Legend

    115
    0
    May 18, 2004
    The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You
    are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

    And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.'

    'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

    And the husband began, 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home,
    and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out
    and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

    I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.. She
    told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I
    brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night,
    the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.
    The poor thing devoured them in moments.

    Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she
    was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I
    threw them away.

    Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have
    had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
    I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which
    you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

    I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't
    wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the
    expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the
    same.'

    The husband took a quick breath and continued 'She was so grateful for
    my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned
    to me with tears in her eyes and said,

    'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
     
  2. Ferenczy

    Ferenczy AllStar

    57
    0
    Sep 9, 2008
    ...lmao :lol:
     
  3. turey22

    turey22 Hall Of Fame

    1,177
    0
    Jul 30, 2007
    I liked this one...I have to send it to a friend now.
     
  4. rbonzer

    rbonzer Legend

    113
    0
    May 13, 2002
    I'd send it to the wife, but I'm thinking it might not go over well. Best joke I've heard in a while.
     
  5. dennisj00

    dennisj00 Hall Of Fame

    9,673
    189
    Sep 27, 2007
    Lake Norman, NC
    The smart man that I am won't be showing this one to the wife!
     
  6. billsharpe

    billsharpe Hall Of Fame

    2,640
    63
    Jan 25, 2007
    Southern...
    My wife laughed harder than I did at this one!
     

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