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Frank Feldman

Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by 4HiMarks, May 20, 2010.

  1. 4HiMarks

    4HiMarks Hall Of Fame

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    Jan 21, 2004
    Laurel, MD
    A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'

    Passenger: 'Who?'

    Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

    Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

    Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros.. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

    Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.'

    Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.'

    Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'

    Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

    Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

    Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his f***in' wife."
     
  2. coldsteel

    coldsteel Hall Of Fame

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    Mar 29, 2007
    Most excellent.
     
  3. scooper

    scooper Hall Of Fame

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    Apr 22, 2002
    Youngsville NC
    Got this a couple days ago from a friend in Australia via an email list I'm on...

    Fortunately, I'm not competing with Frank Feldman :D
     
  4. Nick

    Nick Retired, part-time PITA DBSTalk Gold Club

    21,811
    180
    Apr 23, 2002
    The...
    I just read this. I discovered it in a list of humorous posts in a forum on a well-known DBS bulletin board site here in the States.

    Not quite as perfect as Feldman, but still funny! :lol:
     

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