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Jokes about Tiger Woods

Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by BubblePuppy, Dec 1, 2009.

  1. Dec 1, 2009 #1 of 80
    BubblePuppy

    BubblePuppy Good night dear Smoke... love you & "got your butt

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    Latest news headline: "Tiger Woods arrested for operating a motor vehicle under the influence of golf ball cleaner"
    Quote Tiger Woods: " I didn't know huffing golf ball cleaner would impair my driving."
     
  2. Dec 1, 2009 #2 of 80
    hdtvfan0001

    hdtvfan0001 DIRECTV A-Team

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    Surprised it took this long to start the "fun". :D
     
  3. Dec 1, 2009 #3 of 80
    BubblePuppy

    BubblePuppy Good night dear Smoke... love you & "got your butt

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    It' because Tiger Woods fans are tee'd off.
    :D
    That's one golf club I'm not a member of.
    :grin:
     
  4. Dec 1, 2009 #4 of 80
    hdtvfan0001

    hdtvfan0001 DIRECTV A-Team

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    ...and some of these same folks will apparently never FOREgive or FOREGET this incident. :D
     
  5. Dec 1, 2009 #5 of 80
    Nick

    Nick Retired, part-time PITA DBSTalk Gold Club

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    The...
    I've never understood why some find pleasure in other peoples' misfortune. The pain of having Tiger Wood's Escalade glass smashed by his beautiful wife, Ellie Nordegren, wielding his very own seven iron is the recipe for a very bad day, or night, as the case may be.

    As the full truth finally emerges, Tiger's pristine public persona will probably pale in part as endorsement deals are reevaluated and he likely suffers the loss of a lesser sponsor or two. That could well wind Wood's worth down to just under $1,000,000,000, but still enough to wipe the smile off a titleist. Not to mention the disastrous effect a divorce would have on Tiger's bottom line. After her shyster shark of a lawyer gets through with him, conceivably, he could be reduced to living it up in the caddy shack and driving a golf cart.

    Thankfully, to protect my own assets, I have long maintained a personal policy against marrying tall, skinny, stunningly beautiful, high-maintenance, blonde model types, no matter how much I fantasize about how great the sex would be. :p
     
  6. Dec 1, 2009 #6 of 80
    Stuart Sweet

    Stuart Sweet The Shadow Knows!

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    I'm not quite clear how someone else's misfortune is funny, but I'll leave this thread open for now so you all can prove to me that you can handle this subject with some maturity.
     
  7. Dec 1, 2009 #7 of 80
    BubblePuppy

    BubblePuppy Good night dear Smoke... love you & "got your butt

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    When Tiger Woods wife, Elin Nordegren, was asked what Tiger was doing out so late at night she replied "He just likes to putter around in the garage."
     
  8. Dec 1, 2009 #8 of 80
    steve053

    steve053 Godfather

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    Q: What's the difference between a Titleist and an Escalade?

    A: Tiger can drive a titleist 300 yards. :eek2:
     
  9. Dec 1, 2009 #9 of 80
    Herdfan

    Herdfan DIRECTV A-Team

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    Teays...
    I would guess that he has a rock solid prenup.
     
  10. BubblePuppy

    BubblePuppy Good night dear Smoke... love you & "got your butt

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    I'm sure he has it in the bag. But he will iron out their differences.
     
  11. Deputy Fife

    Deputy Fife Cool Member

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    At least this one is clever.

    Regardless of what one thinks about finding humor in other people's misfortune, the original post is not humorous, nor clever, IMO.
     
  12. RDH416

    RDH416 Legend

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    Oct 24, 2007
    Actually, Tiger can't drive a Titleist at all, unless it has a Nike Swoosh on it.
     
  13. ibglowin

    ibglowin Godfather/Supporter DBSTalk Gold Club

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    "Now, is it my understanding that the Massey prenup has never been penetrated?" :lol:
     
  14. Herdfan

    Herdfan DIRECTV A-Team

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    I heard his marketing folks are looking at a new nickname. Right now it is between a Cheetah or a Lion. :lol:
     
  15. braven

    braven Hall Of Fame

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    Q: What does a baby seal and Tiger Woods have in common?

    A: They both get clubbed by Norwegians.


    I'm sorry.
     
  16. ibglowin

    ibglowin Godfather/Supporter DBSTalk Gold Club

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    :lol:

    Thats actually pretty funny!
     
  17. Nick

    Nick Retired, part-time PITA DBSTalk Gold Club

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    The...
    Tiger's not out of the woods yet -- he's not used to playing in the rough.
     
  18. armophob

    armophob Difficulty Concen........ DBSTalk Club

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    Fort Pierce, FL
  19. photostudent

    photostudent Godfather

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    I heard Tiger will give up golf and enter politics. He plans to run for Governor of South Carolina.
     
  20. smiddy

    smiddy Tain't ogre til its ogre

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    I have never known maturity and comedy to be within the same realm, this is after all the Laughter Is The Best Medicine forum, and capitalizing on Woods' misfortune is within at least the forum's realm. Maturity, not so much. :)
     

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