1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as: a) lovemaking b) screwing c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared: a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship b) your blood-test results c) five tequila slammers 3. You time your orgasm so that: a) your partner climaxes first b) you both climax simultaneously c) you don't miss SportsCenter 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: a) healthy, creative love-play b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is: a) the best part of the experience b) the second best part of the experience c) $100 extra 6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is: a) No concern of yours b) not a problem, she can join your gym c) a conservative estimate 7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is: a) a myth b) an oxymoron c) a moron 8. Foreplay is to sex as: a) appetizer is to entree b) primer is to paint c) a line is to an amusement park ride 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship? a) "I hope we can still be friends." b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep." c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU." 10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy b) is uptight and a waste of time c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place If you answered "a" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man. If you answered "b" more than seven times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused. If you answered "c" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"