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Steve needs our advice - romance on the horizon!

Discussion in 'The OT' started by Nick, Feb 21, 2004.

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  1. Nick

    Nick Retired, part-time PITA DBSTalk Club

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    Almost as a footnote, Steve Mehs just broke the biggest news of the week - heck, of the year! In what may have been intended as a private confidence with Rev. Bogy, Steve has revealed that romance may be in his future - at last! I was beginning to worry about the boy. Read for yourself...

    It looks like young Steve may be in need of some "expert" advice on matters of the heart. But rather than waiting for Steve to come to us, a possible embarassino for the lad, I thought we could go ahead and share with Steve the wealth of knowledge and vast experience this group surely possesses. Just keep in mind that Steve's is but a budding :heart: romance, and this is a family program.
     
  2. Steve Mehs

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    :lol: Nick I don't know how I will ever repay you for this :D

    But hey what ever works :)
     
  3. Cyclone

    Cyclone Hall Of Fame/Supporter DBSTalk Gold Club

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    Ok, advice time. Despite the name, Titty Twisters are not meant for Women. So please don't start off with one on your first date.
     
  4. Bogy

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    With help from this bunch Steve will either get slapped silly or thrown in jail on his first date. :lol:
     
  5. Steve Mehs

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    or both :D
     
  6. Mark Lamutt

    Mark Lamutt Your Neighborhood Liasion

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    OK, real advice: Steve, just be yourself. If it takes more than that, then she isn't the one for you (and isn't worth it either!). :)
     
  7. HappyGoLucky

    HappyGoLucky Banned User

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    Exactly! If you feel like you have to change how you talk, how you dress, how you spend your time or money, how you eat, how you think, etc. just to keep her from dumping you, then let her dump you. You're better off.

    That's not to say that a person shouldn't work to better themselves, just look at the Fab 5 and what they accomplish! :D But I'm referring to fundamental issues, not superficial ones. Be kind, be polite, be courteous, be helpful. But if she doesn't also exhibit those attributes in return, then dump her. Respect and consideration are a two-way street.
     
  8. JBKing

    JBKing Hall Of Fame

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    And you probably shouldn't start the D* vs E* debut until at least after the first date! ;)
     
  9. jrjcd

    jrjcd Arcane Movie Trivia King DBSTalk Gold Club

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    run....
     
  10. Steve Mehs

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    Thanks for the advice guys, really not exactly my first girlfriend, just first serious one and will probably go out to eat at places besides Pizza Hut and Arbys :)

    I'll do my best to keep DirecTV and TiVo promotional pieces out of the conversation. No matter how hard it may be ;) It may be even harder for XM. We like the same kind of music, well I know she likes rock in general, not sure about the sub genre of satanic death metal, but hey it's a start :D
     
  11. Nick

    Nick Retired, part-time PITA DBSTalk Club

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    Aaah, a headbanger babe into metal. A match made in Heaven, fer shur.
    Steve, you expand my knowledge and expand the horizons of my mind.
    Satanic Death Metal - who knew?
     
  12. Bogy

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    Nick, have you not been paying attention again? :D :lol:
     
  13. John Corn

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    :lol: :rolling:
     
  14. Steve Mehs

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    I don't follow the culture, nor do I ever want to, but I enjoy the music, something different, something not accepted by the masses. I'm not sure if she likes metal, I just know we listen to the same FM radio station, which covers a wide variety of the rock spectrum, so I can't say if she's a metal head or not. :)

    If you really want to expand your horizons in the music world, click on Listen Now for a real treat :D
    http://www.xmradio.com/programming/channel_page.jsp?ch=42
     
  15. sampatterson

    sampatterson Icon/Supporter DBSTalk Gold Club

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    Now is the time to judge "wife acceptance factor" and scale. It must play into any serious relationship, you should put Tivo and Directv and Dish comments into your conversations to make sure your hobby is compatible with her!!! ;)
     
  16. Mark Holtz

    Mark Holtz Day Sleeper DBSTalk Club

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    Funny how Steve and I are both working on relationships.... and he is ~15 years younger than I.

    The gal who I'm trying to develop a relationship with is from a good family and is a good person. Although Valentine's day was a big backfire due to conflicting scheduling, when I heard that she had a bad weekend, I dropped by her apartment was a dozen yellow roses (I believe that yellow roses indicate friendship) and had a good dinner with her Saturday night. (Plans to watch movies, however, were schuttled.)

    IMHO, the most important thing in a relationship is communication and respect.
     
  17. Nick

    Nick Retired, part-time PITA DBSTalk Club

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    Ok, here's my .02, FWIW - not just for you, Steve, but for all of us guys, single or married. (old married guys, try "dating" your wife all over again. You may be pleasantly surprised!)

    Speaking of surprises, Steve, surprise your girl from time-to-time. Women like thoughtful surprises, but keep it simple. For a budding romance, it's important to resist the temptation to stage spectactular events to impress your new love. The problem with staging such stunts is that you must periodically repeat, and each sucessive time you have to raise the bar. You can engender the same degree of happiness in her by being thoughful and showing your sense of humor Girls love to laugh because it tickles a special place inside of them, and they know that laughing makes them look even prettier.

    Keep things low-key, simple and earnest. Inexpensive gifts at appropriate times, small kindnesses and always, always, be a gentleman. Opening the car door for her, holding doors and allowing her to pass ahead of you, pulling her chair out at a restaurant - unless there is a maitre'd, then let him do it. Standing when she leaves the table to go powder her nose, then again when when she returns. If you have not been in the habit of doing these things, you may feel awkward in the beginning, but keep at it untl it becomes second nature. As an adult, there are certain things society will expect of you.

    Avoid talking about yourself or your own hobbies incessantly unless you know that she is into it also. For example, a passionate 15-minute discourse about satellite TV may or may not interest her, so be conscious of her responses and body language when you go off on a rant about compression, bandwidth, look-angles and the evils of PI channels.

    Finally, despite some earlier 'advice' given here about not changing just for her, you would do well to take a critical look at yourself, your appearance and your habits. Any unconscious habits like scratching, picking, rubbing (?) and the like should be eliminated. Good grooming is a must, and personal affectations such a wearing a favorite dirty cap in a funky way, or incessantly honking your Clarabelle horn should be reconsidered. Keep your fingernails clean and trimmed short. Brush your teeth often and keep your mouth clean (both meanings) so that you are always ready for that impulsive kiss.

    If she talks about a problem she has, resist the characteristically male urge to jump in with a solution right away. She just wants you to listen, to validate her as a person. Be attentive and give her time to talk it out - you can offer your clever solutions later, or if she asks you. Also, avoid the trap of becoming too emotionally invested in the problems of her life. This can be hard to do for a guy, but take heed from my words on this.

    Finally, as has been said previously, it's a two-way street. I have enough experience to know that a relationship is also an exchange of energy. There must be a balance in this exchange or someone's 'battery' will begin to discharge and eventually run down. In other words, "love" ain't just a one-way street in Brooklyn.

    My very best to you and your friend in this, the most exciting times of your life!

    Nick
     
  18. Scott Greczkowski

    Scott Greczkowski Banned User

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    Go Steve!!!!!
     
  19. Mark Holtz

    Mark Holtz Day Sleeper DBSTalk Club

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    Oh, she was definately surprised, especially when I had to "swing by that evening and drop something off no it can't wait until tomorrow evening." Her face brightened up when it turned out to be roses and not another DVD. :)
     
  20. Bogy

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    Good going Mark. Good luck.

    Nick, great post. I wouldn't change a thing you wrote. Why the heck aren't you married?
     
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