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Guest Message by DevFuse

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Jokes about Tiger Woods


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79 replies to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   BubblePuppy

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 05:44 AM

Latest news headline: "Tiger Woods arrested for operating a motor vehicle under the influence of golf ball cleaner"
Quote Tiger Woods: " I didn't know huffing golf ball cleaner would impair my driving."
Thanks to Google search, people can appear to be smarter than they really are.

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#2 OFFLINE   hdtvfan0001

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 05:46 AM

Surprised it took this long to start the "fun". :D
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#3 OFFLINE   BubblePuppy

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 07:04 AM

Surprised it took this long to start the "fun". :D


It' because Tiger Woods fans are tee'd off.
:D
That's one golf club I'm not a member of.
:grin:
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#4 OFFLINE   hdtvfan0001

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 07:26 AM

It' because Tiger Woods fans are tee'd off.
:D
That's one golf club I'm not a member of.
:grin:

...and some of these same folks will apparently never FOREgive or FOREGET this incident. :D
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#5 OFFLINE   Nick

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 08:10 AM

I've never understood why some find pleasure in other peoples' misfortune. The pain of having Tiger Wood's Escalade glass smashed by his beautiful wife, Ellie Nordegren, wielding his very own seven iron is the recipe for a very bad day, or night, as the case may be.

As the full truth finally emerges, Tiger's pristine public persona will probably pale in part as endorsement deals are reevaluated and he likely suffers the loss of a lesser sponsor or two. That could well wind Wood's worth down to just under $1,000,000,000, but still enough to wipe the smile off a titleist. Not to mention the disastrous effect a divorce would have on Tiger's bottom line. After her shyster shark of a lawyer gets through with him, conceivably, he could be reduced to living it up in the caddy shack and driving a golf cart.

Thankfully, to protect my own assets, I have long maintained a personal policy against marrying tall, skinny, stunningly beautiful, high-maintenance, blonde model types, no matter how much I fantasize about how great the sex would be. :P

Edited by Nick, 01 December 2009 - 08:31 AM.

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#6 OFFLINE   Stuart Sweet

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 08:27 AM

I'm not quite clear how someone else's misfortune is funny, but I'll leave this thread open for now so you all can prove to me that you can handle this subject with some maturity.
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#7 OFFLINE   BubblePuppy

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 08:43 AM

When Tiger Woods wife, Elin Nordegren, was asked what Tiger was doing out so late at night she replied "He just likes to putter around in the garage."
Thanks to Google search, people can appear to be smarter than they really are.

#8 OFFLINE   steve053

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 08:48 AM

Q: What's the difference between a Titleist and an Escalade?

A: Tiger can drive a titleist 300 yards. :eek2:
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#9 OFFLINE   Herdfan

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 08:51 AM

Not to mention the disastrous effect a divorce would have on Tiger's bottom line. After her shyster shark of a lawyer gets through with him, conceivably, he could be reduced to living it up in the caddy shack and driving a golf cart.


I would guess that he has a rock solid prenup.

#10 OFFLINE   BubblePuppy

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 08:54 AM

I would guess that he has a rock solid prenup.


I'm sure he has it in the bag. But he will iron out their differences.
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#11 OFFLINE   Deputy Fife

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 08:54 AM

Q: What's the difference between a Titleist and an Escalade?

A: Tiger can drive a titleist 300 yards. :eek2:


At least this one is clever.

Regardless of what one thinks about finding humor in other people's misfortune, the original post is not humorous, nor clever, IMO.

#12 OFFLINE   RDH416

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 10:03 AM

Q: What's the difference between a Titleist and an Escalade?

A: Tiger can drive a titleist 300 yards. :eek2:


Actually, Tiger can't drive a Titleist at all, unless it has a Nike Swoosh on it.

#13 OFFLINE   ibglowin

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 03:21 PM

I would guess that he has a rock solid prenup.


"Now, is it my understanding that the Massey prenup has never been penetrated?" :lol:
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#14 OFFLINE   Herdfan

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Posted 01 December 2009 - 07:39 PM

I heard his marketing folks are looking at a new nickname. Right now it is between a Cheetah or a Lion. :lol:

#15 OFFLINE   braven

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Posted 02 December 2009 - 07:23 PM

Q: What does a baby seal and Tiger Woods have in common?

A: They both get clubbed by Norwegians.


I'm sorry.
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#16 OFFLINE   ibglowin

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Posted 03 December 2009 - 08:02 AM

:lol:

Thats actually pretty funny!
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#17 OFFLINE   Nick

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Posted 03 December 2009 - 09:58 AM

Tiger's not out of the woods yet -- he's not used to playing in the rough.

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#18 ONLINE   armophob

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Posted 03 December 2009 - 10:36 AM

Local charity has this on their page.

http://www.wzzr.com/...e_lovedocs.html

#19 OFFLINE   photostudent

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Posted 03 December 2009 - 10:50 AM

I heard Tiger will give up golf and enter politics. He plans to run for Governor of South Carolina.

#20 OFFLINE   smiddy

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Posted 03 December 2009 - 01:07 PM

I'm not quite clear how someone else's misfortune is funny, but I'll leave this thread open for now so you all can prove to me that you can handle this subject with some maturity.

I have never known maturity and comedy to be within the same realm, this is after all the Laughter Is The Best Medicine forum, and capitalizing on Woods' misfortune is within at least the forum's realm. Maturity, not so much. :)
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