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Guest Message by DevFuse

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Near Death Experience


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11 replies to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   citico

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Posted 16 April 2010 - 07:42 AM

A 54 year old woman had
a heart attack and was taken to the hospital

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God
she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since
she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make
the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"

God replied: "I didn't f @*#in' recognize you."

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#2 OFFLINE   Nick

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Posted 16 April 2010 - 07:46 AM

Would have been funnier without the expletive...it takes away from the punch line.

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#3 OFFLINE   coldsteel

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Posted 16 April 2010 - 10:09 AM

Would have been funnier without the expletive...it takes away from the punch line.


Agreed. Ruined a good joke.
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#4 OFFLINE   naijai

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Posted 16 April 2010 - 11:09 AM

A 54 year old woman had
a heart attack and was taken to the hospital

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God
she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since
she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make
the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"

God replied: "Oops I didn't recognize you."


Better like this
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
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All comments are my own. Unless specifically stated, my views DO NOT represent the views of DIRECTV

#5 OFFLINE   billsharpe

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Posted 16 April 2010 - 11:16 AM

Better like this


Make that four people who prefer the cleaner version. :)

Just noticed that the ad at the top of this page was for Advanced Laser Lipo. A coincidence? I think not!

Edited by billsharpe, 16 April 2010 - 11:19 AM.
saw the ad and thought I'd mention it

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#6 OFFLINE   dbconsultant

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Posted 16 April 2010 - 11:23 AM

Make that five people for the cleaner version! The first thing that struck me was "why did they need the expletive?" when the joke was funny on its own!

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Sony BlueRay Player


#7 OFFLINE   curt8403

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Posted 16 April 2010 - 11:37 AM

6 people
I am no longer connected with Directv or any other satellite provider

#8 OFFLINE   tcusta00

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Posted 16 April 2010 - 11:58 AM

Ok, I think he gets it: expletive not needed. Check.

#9 OFFLINE   scroll

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Posted 22 April 2010 - 12:05 AM

Period.

#10 OFFLINE   jkane

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Posted 22 April 2010 - 07:23 AM

I think the expletive makes it funnier!

(Somebody had to say it.) :rolleyes:
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#11 OFFLINE   barryb

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Posted 22 April 2010 - 07:25 AM

I liked it no matter how you want to say it.
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#12 OFFLINE   jacmyoung

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Posted 23 April 2010 - 11:18 PM

I think the expletive makes it funnier!

(Somebody had to say it.) :rolleyes:


Agreed! Somebody had to second that:)




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