Jump to content


Welcome to DBSTalk


Sign In 

Create Account
Welcome to DBSTalk, like most online communities you must register to view or post in our community, but don't worry this is a simple free process that requires minimal information for you to signup. Be a part of DBSTalk by signing in or creating an account.
  • Start new topics and reply to others
  • Subscribe to topics and forums to get email updates
  • Get your own profile page and make new friends
  • Send personal messages to other members.
 
Guest Message by DevFuse

Photo

You're in big trouble


  • Please log in to reply
1 reply to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   tommya

tommya

    New Member

  • Banned User
  • 6 posts
Joined: Jun 24, 2010

Posted 25 June 2010 - 02:59 AM

I JUST KNEW I WAS IN BIG TROUBLE AT WORK WHEN...

...the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me.

...the Security guard made a complete inventory of my work area.

...my assistant began responding to my memos with, "Yeah, whatever."

...I got a "It's for you loser" wav receiving e-mail, & not a chime.

...my new Pentium was replaced with an 386sx-16 last weekend.

...the Human Resources Dept requested an update of my arrest record.

...the Boss asked if I still had a copy of my 5 year contract.

...I noticed co-workers measuring my office when I arrived at work.

...my parking spot was relocated next to the dumpster.

...my secretary sez things like "Get the phone, my nails aren't dry."

...three people began helping me write a "desk manual" for my job.

...the LAN suddenly began backing-up my computer every 10 minutes.

...a large paper recycling box was placed next to my file cabinets.

...the receptionist began saying "Who ???" to anyone calling on me.

...Ads Help To Support This SIte...

#2 OFFLINE   tommya

tommya

    New Member

  • Topic Starter
  • Banned User
  • 6 posts
Joined: Jun 24, 2010

Posted 25 June 2010 - 03:00 AM

Thoughts and stories from on the job

My boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, "Is this what you get paid for ?" I told him, "Nope ! I do this for free."

This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a sign which read "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." I couldn't resist and added a note: "And now you know why too".

Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, "Yeah, how does this thing work ?" I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, "Any questions ?" She said, "Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?"

People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah ??? When's the last time ya ever heard of anyone who "rested to death".

Being punctual in our Office was of no benefit what-so-ever. There was never anybody around to appreciate it.

Our Office was always on the cutting edge of technology. Not only did we have computers which spoke as well as listened; Hell, some of them even got ulcers.

Did ya ever notice the people who complain the most about not having enough time to do all their work are the same ones who always stop & tell everyone that they don't have enuff time to do all their work




spam firewall