I also did not see a remote in the box. I asked about a RF remote and they went to the truck and brought me a RC65RX. When the installer left I immediately noticed no MRV and no internet. I did a reset which downloaded new software and then went into network setup. I manually configured my static IP and other settings and both MRV and Internet worked immediately.
Funny thing is the PDF file that Directv put out for the HR34 actually says "Remote is NOT included". Im guessing they assume most are using this as a server? Doesnt seem to be a big deal though, since the installers are just handing out remotes (Im sure they have a ton of them on the truck!) I would use the remote for my HR21 but I eventually want to disable that so I need to send it all back to D*.
As far as disabling Whole Home to order, they did not do that to mine, and my whole home DVR status is still intact according to my account view on directv.com