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Things customers say


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39 replies to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   wahooq

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 09:29 AM

CSR: Thank you for calling Anycompany Satellite how can I help you?
customer: Yeah I'm trying to watch the pilot rerun of The Walking Dead and it's in black and white, I pay ya'll for color and Hd. What the hells going on down there?
CSR: Hmmm.... It seems that AMC, the broadcaster, is broadcasting that episode in black and white intentionally sir.
customer: Well, why? I pay for color tv.
CSR: I understand sir, I believe it is a homage to the old George Romero zombie movies.
customer: Well I don't give a damn about George Romero or AMC. I make my check out to you...now what are you gonna do to fix it? I also will need some credit since it ain't in color, I pay for color TV.
My comments and opinions are my own and not necessarily those of DirecTV.

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#2 OFFLINE   sigma1914

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 09:38 AM

Honestly, I'm not surprised. :lol:
If you stop responding to them or put them on ignore, then eventually they'll go away.

#3 OFFLINE   Stuart Sweet

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 09:40 AM

Great googly moogly.
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#4 OFFLINE   sigma1914

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 09:46 AM

CSR and IT Support people have the best stories regarding how dumb adults can be. Teachers are great for stories about dumb youth.
If you stop responding to them or put them on ignore, then eventually they'll go away.

#5 OFFLINE   The Merg

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 09:55 AM

CSR and IT Support people have the best stories regarding how dumb adults can be. Teachers are great for stories about dumb youth.


I remember working in the computer lab back in college. I had plenty of people coming up to me to ask how to get the computer turned on or where it was. This lab had all dumb terminals so it was just the monitor, which had a huge power button on the bottom right corner. As soon as the monitor was turned on, you had your login prompt.

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#6 OFFLINE   carlsbad_bolt_fan

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 10:31 AM

CSR and IT Support people have the best stories regarding how dumb adults can be. Teachers are great for stories about dumb youth.


Yep. Lots of IT stories with folks looking for the "any" key.
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#7 OFFLINE   dpeters11

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 10:41 AM

"Please do not adjust your set. The following presentation is being presented in black and white. This is an intentional artistic decision."

#8 OFFLINE   dpeters11

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 10:48 AM

Yep. Lots of IT stories with folks looking for the "any" key.


What I've always liked is that just any key doesn't even work. So even if it's read correctly, it's wrong.

#9 OFFLINE   PK6301

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 11:01 AM

Ok I will fess up to the following "homer" moment I had the other day "D'oh"
"Please enter the first letter of the following word "Plasma" "
I read it as the word following the word plasma. there was no word following plasma
the letter was P..:sure::sure:

#10 OFFLINE   Wisegoat

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 11:41 AM

Those of us in the IT world get these kinds of responses all the time. Check out http://www.infoworld...blogs/anonymous for some humorous stories from the field. These stories make me wonder why I am still in IT sometimes (that and not being able to find a job right now).

#11 OFFLINE   RAD

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 12:05 PM

How about back in the 5 1/4" floppy disc days. Send them a disc with new code on it, tell them to take it out of the envelope. There's a long pause and then she says she's having trouble getting it to go into the drive, that's because she cut it out of the envelope the disc comes in and had just the magnetic disc now.

See post My Setup for configuration info.


#12 OFFLINE   billsharpe

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 12:15 PM

How about back in the 5 1/4" floppy disc days. Send them a disc with new code on it, tell them to take it out of the envelope. There's a long pause and then she says she's having trouble getting it to go into the drive, that's because she cut it out of the envelope the disc comes in and had just the magnetic disc now.


When I was teaching introductory computer classes in the mid-80's I used to cut the cover off an old 5 1/4" disc, extract it and wave it in front of the students to explain what is really meant by a "floppy disc."

I always included "Don't try this at home..." as part of the lecture. :D
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#13 OFFLINE   Alan Gordon

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 12:25 PM

CSR: Thank you for calling Anycompany Satellite how can I help you?
customer: Yeah I'm trying to watch the pilot rerun of The Walking Dead and it's in black and white, I pay ya'll for color and Hd. What the hells going on down there?
CSR: Hmmm.... It seems that AMC, the broadcaster, is broadcasting that episode in black and white intentionally sir.
customer: Well, why? I pay for color tv.
CSR: I understand sir, I believe it is a homage to the old George Romero zombie movies.
customer: Well I don't give a damn about George Romero or AMC. I make my check out to you...now what are you gonna do to fix it? I also will need some credit since it ain't in color, I pay for color TV.


Thankfully, my Uncle (err... the one I'm referring to) is smarter than the person above, but it reminds me of the time many years ago when I lent him my DVD copy of "XxX" with Vin Diesel.

When he was returning it, we spoke about the movie, the car, etc., but I found myself very confused when he said he thought it was weird that the movie was in black and white. Long story short, he looked into things and found out that his DVD player was going bad and was only outputting things in black and white... :D

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#14 OFFLINE   wahooq

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 12:39 PM

My other favorite, and this one happens all the time..

CSR: Thank you for calling Anycompany Satellite, how can I help you?
customer: Yeah I have this weird message on my TV.
CSR: I'm sorry to hear that ma'am, could you read the message to me please?
customer: It says, "We are experiencing technical difficulties. We are aware of the issue and are working to resolve it. There is no need to call Anycompany Satellite"...
CSR: Ummmm...
customer: So what do I do?
My comments and opinions are my own and not necessarily those of DirecTV.

#15 OFFLINE   LOCODUDE

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 12:39 PM

CSR: Thank you for calling Anycompany Satellite how can I help you?
customer: Yeah I'm trying to watch the pilot rerun of The Walking Dead and it's in black and white, I pay ya'll for color and Hd. What the hells going on down there?
CSR: Hmmm.... It seems that AMC, the broadcaster, is broadcasting that episode in black and white intentionally sir.
customer: Well, why? I pay for color tv.
CSR: I understand sir, I believe it is a homage to the old George Romero zombie movies.
customer: Well I don't give a damn about George Romero or AMC. I make my check out to you...now what are you gonna do to fix it? I also will need some credit since it ain't in color, I pay for color TV.


!rolling!rolling.... First laugh I've had all day..... Thanks for sharing......

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#16 OFFLINE   HoTat2

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 12:53 PM

The story I still find most unbelievable of all, was posted a few years ago by a tech. on the forum here in a thread I don't recall at the moment.

Apparently the customer grossly misunderstood the concept of a DVR's ability to "time-shift" programs to the point of unimaginable stupidity.

The tech. installs his DVR on a Saturday, and immediately he wants to look ahead into the future to see the NFL games scheduled to broadcast the next day on Sunday!

When the needless to say "astonished" tech. tries to explain a DVR is not a time-machine of science fiction lore, the customer is irate and demands the entire install be removed. So the tech. ends up taking the whole thing down. Dish, receiver, cabling, and all.

Definitely the undisputed ultimate moron of all in my book. ... :lol:

#17 OFFLINE   n3ntj

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 02:01 PM

CSR: Thank you for calling Anycompany Satellite how can I help you?
customer: Yeah I'm trying to watch the pilot rerun of The Walking Dead and it's in black and white, I pay ya'll for color and Hd. What the hells going on down there?
CSR: Hmmm.... It seems that AMC, the broadcaster, is broadcasting that episode in black and white intentionally sir.
customer: Well, why? I pay for color tv.
CSR: I understand sir, I believe it is a homage to the old George Romero zombie movies.
customer: Well I don't give a damn about George Romero or AMC. I make my check out to you...now what are you gonna do to fix it? I also will need some credit since it ain't in color, I pay for color TV.


:lol:

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#18 OFFLINE   taz291819

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 03:49 PM

When I was teaching introductory computer classes in the mid-80's I used to cut the cover off an old 5 1/4" disc, extract it and wave it in front of the students to explain what is really meant by a "floppy disc."

I always included "Don't try this at home..." as part of the lecture. :D


It would have been better to do that to a 3 1/2" floppy, since so many people back then thought those were hard disks.

#19 OFFLINE   kb24sd

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:00 PM

I myself have worked in IT support (Help Desk call center & Desktop Support) for a DSL company called Telocity DSL and companies like Gateway.I've been in this industry over 12 years and yes I'm really just frustrated and out of work right now.Over the past 3 years I have considered going back to school for a career change like Health Information Technology or going into law and becoming a lawyer.But my main concerns are $$$ & time.I'm debt free right now and have no car payment, no house payment, and I'm single.I don't want to take out students loans to go to a private college and community college is also a joke IMHO since out here in San Diego and throughout California most community colleges will cost you $46 per unit and that not including book fees & other fees.Then there is also the problem of classes being available that fit your personal schedule.Also I have a couple friends that went the route of starting out at community college and then transferring to a 4 year state or University and it took them 7 years to get their BA degrees.

So yes unfortunately I'm stuck in my line of ultra competitive job industry and right now I'm hoping to get the EDD WIA grant money so that I can get some training for some job related certs that will help improve my chances of getting a Systems Administrator job.

Yes some of the stories I can tell are funny and somewhat sad.

I still remember being on the phone supporting Gateway PC which was a nightmare because Gateway at the time had in their customer agreement that customers had lifetime technical support warranty.Me and other help desk agents had to support literally everything under the sun software & hardware.
We were supporting Operating Sytems: Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME, and Windows 2000.

One story that I will never forget was when this old granny called up and she needed to be walked over the phone through replacing and installing a new motherboard on her Gateway PC Desktop.Her situation was that her system was out of warranty and that she agreed to pay a discounted rate on having a replacement motherboard sent to her.I really felt bad because whoever she spoke to in sales told her that a tech would come out and install it for her, only to find out 10 days later that she just had the hardware sent to her. What made it worse was that I checked the part sent to her in the ticketing system and found out that it was just a refurbished replacement part.In the end I spent 4 hours over the phone walking her step by step how to remove the bad mother board and then installing the new one.

Edited by kb24sd, 09 July 2012 - 04:05 PM.


#20 OFFLINE   dpeters11

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 04:24 PM

One story that I will never forget was when this old granny called up and she needed to be walked over the phone through replacing and installing a new motherboard on her Gateway PC Desktop.Her situation was that her system was out of warranty and that she agreed to pay a discounted rate on having a replacement motherboard sent to her.I really felt bad because whoever she spoke to in sales told her that a tech would come out and install it for her, only to find out 10 days later that she just had the hardware sent to her. What made it worse was that I checked the part sent to her in the ticketing system and found out that it was just a refurbished replacement part.In the end I spent 4 hours over the phone walking her step by step how to remove the bad mother board and then installing the new one.


I have to say, that's impressive. Not an easy replacement.

#21 OFFLINE   Brubear

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 06:26 PM

"Arrow down, highlight and select 'Parental, Favs and Setup'..."

"Why? We ain't got no kids!"

o.O

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#22 OFFLINE   vthokies1996

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 06:31 PM

A few good IT stories.

I had to spend 30 minutes on the phone giving a lady (who had no business using a computer) the steps for mapping a network drive. Finally get that done and the only thing left was for her to drag a file from Windows explorer to her desktop. I tell her drag the file called ..... to your desktop. There was about 10 seconds of silence then she responds "I don't understand, how do I get the file from my computer screen onto my desk??" After spending 2 minutes trying to explain what a "desktop" is, I eventually had her find someone else and put them on the phone to get the file onto her desktop.

2. I get called to a bigshot's office. His secretary said "None of his computers were working." I walk into the office he says, "I have no idea what the problem is." I walk over and turn on his computers and say "You're computers are not turned on." He says "Well, I didn't turn them off."

3. Get called to a user's desk, he says my monitor is not working. He says, "Trust me, I'm not one of those idiots that calls you to their desk and their monitor isn't even turned on." I told him I would take a look at it. He walks over to a co-workers desk to chat, and I sit down at his computer. Turns out his computer wasn't turned on. I "fix the issue" and walk over to him and say "It's all fixed." He says "Great, what was the problem." I said "Do you really want to know??" He says "Yes". I told him, "Well, your monitor wasn't turned on." As I'm leaving the office, all I can hear is his co-worker belittling him about how he had to call someone to his desk to turn on his monitor.

#23 OFFLINE   Carl Spock

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Posted 10 July 2012 - 03:30 AM

I had a buddy who worked in the audio department of the Montgomery Wards store in San Francisco closest to the Haight in the 1960s. Stoned hippies could be a challenge. One guy returned a television because it always lost the picture and the screen turned snowy in the middle of the night. My friend wanted to ask if this was preceeded by a broadcast of the Star Spangled Banner but didn't. He just took the return.
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#24 OFFLINE   wingrider01

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Posted 10 July 2012 - 05:03 AM

Those of us in the IT world get these kinds of responses all the time. Check out http://www.infoworld...blogs/anonymous for some humorous stories from the field. These stories make me wonder why I am still in IT sometimes (that and not being able to find a job right now).


Of all the years in IT, this still ranks to be my favorite, I still go back to it for a bitof a chuckle.. *warning* adult language *warning*

http://bofh.ch/

the B*****D Operator from H**L

#25 OFFLINE   n3vino

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Posted 10 July 2012 - 06:21 AM

A few good IT stories.

I had to spend 30 minutes on the phone giving a lady (who had no business using a computer) the steps for mapping a network drive.

Imagine how long it would have taken if you were from India. I've talked to support from India and the hardest part is understanding what they are saying. They put you through steps that takes forever to complete. That doesn't fix the problem and then you have to do the same thing again with another CSR.

I had a problem with a computer that was still under warranty. It kept shutting down by itself. I had an in home service call to replace a power supply. That didn't work. He checked everything and couldn't figure it out. Even reloaded the system more than once. I then sent it to their repair facility. I had it back a week later, and it did the same. I sent it back, it came back a week later and it did the same thing. All in all it had the power supply replaced twice, and the mother board replaced once. Nothing worked, so after being patient and dealing with a defective computer for several weeks, they replaced the computer with a new one.

I sent the old one back, but I kept the keyboard, mouse, and monitor. The new one came with a wireless keyboard and mouse. The keyboard sometimes missed strokes. A few months later, I decided to plug in the keyboard from the system they replaced. Guess what. My computer shutdown.

My computer is working just fine with the remote mouse and keyboard.

Edited by n3vino, 10 July 2012 - 06:49 AM.

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