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Zoo and the gorilla
Posted 20 September 2002 - 10:51 AM
As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape (no pun intended). He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along.
She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down."Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him."he says.... This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doingflips. Then the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.
"Now, tell HIM you have a headache."
Posted 20 September 2002 - 02:55 PM
After the gorilla had his way with the man's wife, she was rushed to the nearest hospital. It took doctors six hours of surgery to repair the injuries to her body. It took another six hours to get her legs to go back together, and 48 more hours to get the smile off her face.
After a week in the hospital, she was again examined and was pronounced ready to go home. The doctor took the husband aside and started to give him instructions on how to care for his wife while she recuperates at home. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, doc", the husband interrupts, "but how long before she can have sex?" Taken aback by the man's insensitivity, the doctor says "Give her six months to a year."
After six months to the day, the husband hurries home after work and hollers "Honey, take off your clothes, I'm coming up!" Leaving a trail of his own clothes on the stairs, he rushes into their bedroom only to hear "Not now, Dear, I have a headache."
Sadly, for the each of next five months, this scenario repeats itself.
Finally, the end of the second six months comes and the man again rushes home after work, but this time he goes into the kitchen, gets a glass of water and two aspirins. Walking into the bedroom, he offers his wife the water and aspirins. She says "What's this for?" The husband says "For your headache, dear." With an odd look on her face, she says "But I don't have a headache."
Hearing that, the husband says "Great! Take off your clothes!"
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Posted 20 September 2002 - 03:00 PM
Posted 20 September 2002 - 05:12 PM