Jump to content

Welcome to DBSTalk

Sign In 

Create Account
Welcome to DBSTalk. Our community covers all aspects of video delivery solutions including: Direct Broadcast Satellite (DBS), Cable Television, and Internet Protocol Television (IPTV). We also have forums to discuss popular television programs, home theater equipment, and internet streaming service providers. Members of our community include experts who can help you solve technical problems, industry professionals, company representatives, and novices who are here to learn.

Like most online communities you must register to view or post in our community. Sign-up is a free and simple process that requires minimal information. Be a part of our community by signing in or creating an account. The Digital Bit Stream starts here!
  • Reply to existing topics or start a discussion of your own
  • Subscribe to topics and forums and get email updates
  • Send private personal messages (PM) to other forum members
  • Customize your profile page and make new friends
Guest Message by DevFuse


Zoo and the gorilla

  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   John Corn

John Corn

    Hall Of Fame

  • Registered
  • 5,046 posts
Joined: Mar 21, 2002

Posted 20 September 2002 - 10:51 AM

It's a beautiful, warm spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He's wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt.The zoo is not very busy this morning.

As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape (no pun intended). He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him, and play along.

She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does, and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down."Now try lifting your dress up your thighs and sort of fan it at him."he says.... This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he's doingflips. Then the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, flings her in with the gorilla and slams the cage door shut.

"Now, tell HIM you have a headache."
Have a Great Day! :) :flag:

...Ads Help To Support This Site...

#2 OFFLINE   John Walsh

John Walsh


  • Registered
  • 342 posts
Joined: Apr 22, 2002

Posted 20 September 2002 - 11:14 AM

I can relate to that :)
John Walsh
E*/508/2X 522/921 (on my 4th 921)
XM Delphi Sky Fi
My DVD Collection
Boot Version: 120B
Flash Version: F051
SW Version: L215

#3 OFFLINE   Nick


    Retired, part-time PITA

  • DBSTalk Club
  • 21,796 posts
  • LocationThe Beautiful Golden Isles of Georgia
Joined: Apr 23, 2002

Posted 20 September 2002 - 02:55 PM

Postscript to the story:

After the gorilla had his way with the man's wife, she was rushed to the nearest hospital. It took doctors six hours of surgery to repair the injuries to her body. It took another six hours to get her legs to go back together, and 48 more hours to get the smile off her face.

After a week in the hospital, she was again examined and was pronounced ready to go home. The doctor took the husband aside and started to give him instructions on how to care for his wife while she recuperates at home. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, doc", the husband interrupts, "but how long before she can have sex?" Taken aback by the man's insensitivity, the doctor says "Give her six months to a year."

After six months to the day, the husband hurries home after work and hollers "Honey, take off your clothes, I'm coming up!" Leaving a trail of his own clothes on the stairs, he rushes into their bedroom only to hear "Not now, Dear, I have a headache."

Sadly, for the each of next five months, this scenario repeats itself.

Finally, the end of the second six months comes and the man again rushes home after work, but this time he goes into the kitchen, gets a glass of water and two aspirins. Walking into the bedroom, he offers his wife the water and aspirins. She says "What's this for?" The husband says "For your headache, dear." With an odd look on her face, she says "But I don't have a headache."

Hearing that, the husband says "Great! Take off your clothes!"


~ 14th Year on DBSTalk ~
Charter Gold Club Member
DBSTalk Club ~ 21k Club
Top 10 Poster


#4 OFFLINE   John Corn

John Corn

    Hall Of Fame

  • Topic Starter
  • Registered
  • 5,046 posts
Joined: Mar 21, 2002

Posted 20 September 2002 - 03:00 PM

:lol: What an ending!!!
Have a Great Day! :) :flag:

#5 OFFLINE   Richard King

Richard King

    Hall Of Fame

  • Registered
  • 21,331 posts
Joined: Mar 25, 2002

Posted 20 September 2002 - 05:12 PM

I love a happy ending. It brought a tear to my eyes. :lol:
The Pump Don't Work 'cause the Vandals Took the Handles.

Protected By... spam firewall...And...