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A Cowboy Named Bud

Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by Cholly, Feb 11, 2010.

  1. Cholly

    Cholly Old Guys Rule! DBSTalk Club

    Mar 22, 2004
    A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

    Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo..

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..

    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

    Then Bud says to the young man, "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

    "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

    This is a herd of sheep. ....

    Now give me back my dog."
  2. billsharpe

    billsharpe Hall Of Fame

    Jan 25, 2007
    I'm a city boy myself.
    Do cowboys herd sheep?
    I thought that would be sheep herders?

    Just wondering?
    But if you changed the first line it would spoil the joke...

    That's not to say that the joke wasn't funny.
  3. CJTE

    CJTE Hall Of Fame

    Sep 17, 2007

    Cowboy is more of an all-around term applied to Ranchers, Herders, Farmers, etc.
  4. jkane

    jkane Icon

    Oct 12, 2007
    I California, they are cowboys. Everywhere else they are farmers. :)

    I grew up on a farm with cattle. Never called anyone a cowboy unless we wanted to make fun of them!

    Yeah, the joke has quite a few "flaws" in it. But it is somewhat funny anyhow.
  5. Scott Kocourek

    Scott Kocourek Well-Known Member

    Jun 13, 2009
    It's like watching an action flick, don't read too much into it and it's great.

  6. scroll

    scroll Mentor

    Apr 10, 2010
    You are here to enjoy or do an autopsy?
  7. Carl Spock

    Carl Spock Superfly

    Sep 3, 2004
    I liked it, Cholly, and get the triple punchline.

    The moment you start dissecting any joke, it falls apart and stops being funny.

    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Tuba who?
    Tuba toothpaste.

    That's any joke.

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