Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by billsharpe, Jun 19, 2019.
A little late for Father's Day:
What do you call a fake fettuccine?
That is terribl(y good!).
Gotta tell my daughter...she loves and hates my Dad jokes.
What does a 6.9 mean?
A fun time ruined by a period.
I asked my Dad for his best Dad joke and he said, "You."...Whenever the phone rings my Dad says, "If it's for me don't answer it.".
When I used to go out to dinner with my parents many years ago my Dad would often tell the waitress when she brought the bill "I feel awful because I'm all full." The waitress wouldn't know what to make of it. My mother would just roll her eyes.
Sometimes he would change the remark to "I feel mournful because I'm more than full." Same result!
Back in the day at McDonald's with the kiddos, I would point out the window and say, "Look, Halley's Comet!", then swipe a few of their fries when they looked away. Such fun.
We had two boys and a girl. I would tell our little girl that she was my 'favorite daughter', to which she would reply, "aw, Daddy, I'm your only daughter." To which I would answer, "Yes, but even if you had sisters, you would still be my favorite!" At that, she would just grin from ear-to-ear.
Dad joke for the 4th of July:
What is a ghost's favorite patriotic song lyric?
Three Cheers for the Red, White, and Boo.
Edit: That's (almost) from "Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean," which I realized when I heard that song played yesterday. It's repeated several times.
I am constantly scolded by the wife for making dumb jokes to people I don't know, like waitresses. I guess it's OK if I tell them to people I know!
Do you know whats really odd?
Numbers not divisible by 2.
0 (zero), although some say zero does not exist.
Hey, 3/2 = 1.5. Odd whole numbers are those that, when divided by 2, do not give whole number results. Zero is an even number according to Wikipedia but it does have some unusual characteristics.