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Economic Stimulus

Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by Ferenczy, Sep 8, 2009.

  1. Ferenczy

    Ferenczy AllStar

    Sep 9, 2008
    Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    Q. Where will the government get this money?
    A. From taxpayers.

    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
    A. Only a smidgen.

    Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
    set, thus stimulating the economy.

    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
    A. Shut up.

    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
    your stimulus check wisely:
    • If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
    • If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
    • If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
    • If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
    • If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
    • If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
    • If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
    management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:

    1 spending it at yard sales, or
    2 going to ball games, or
    3 spending it on prostitutes, or
    4 beer, or
    5 tattoos.

    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the US.)


    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!
  2. Nick

    Nick Retired, part-time PITA DBSTalk Club

    Apr 23, 2002
    I knew it! :lol:
  3. chevyguy559

    chevyguy559 Fresno State Bulldog!

    Sep 19, 2008
    Fresno, CA
  4. dave29

    dave29 New Member

    Feb 18, 2007
  5. dodge boy

    dodge boy R.I.P. Chris Henry

    Mar 31, 2006
    Sounds stimulating to me...... :lol:

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