How To Get Better Service On Your Machine

HOW TO GET BETTER SERVICE ON YOUR MACHINE

1. Do not call for service until everyone concerned has had time to form
an opinion as to what is wrong. allow each person a chance to correct the
problem. Whenever possible, all controls and adjusting screws should be
turned.

2. After several days, when the machine malfunction has become a major
emergency place an urgent call for service. Fridays are best, but
anytime after 4 is ok.

3. Alert all personnel so that each can give their version of what is wrong.
Suggestions on how to fix the machine will be welcomed by the service man.

4. Hide the service history log that is found inside the machine. make
several references to the man who was here for the same problem last week.

5. Have at least eight graduate engineers present to ask highly technical
questions which are in no way related to the immediate problem.

6. The minute the serviceman arrives, ask what caused the delay. Make it
clear that you expected him 2 days ago. Before he can answer, ask when
the machine will be back in service.

7. The machine should be dirty and greasy as possible. A mixture of oil and
pencil sharpener shavings work well. If the machine has electrical
components, add staples and paper clips.

8. Assign someone to supervise the repair. A person who has never seen the
machine before is preferred.

9. Ask again when the machine will be ready. Do this when the machine is in
800 pieces and spread on the floor.

10 Be sure the lights are off in the room where the machine is to be
repaired. A good serviceman can fix it blindfolded.

11. Ask if the machine is ready yet. If the serviceman is looking at a
schematic diagram, ask if he knows what he is doing. Also mention that
you fixed your toaster last week without a schematic.

12. When the repair is completed, tell him what a swell job he did. Tell
him the job should be swell as it took long enough.

13. Try to get the serviceman to lower the bill, they make to much money
anyway.

14. After he is gone call his supervisor and say the machine is worse now
than before. Follow up with a letter with copies to the home office.

15. Do not allow any one to do any preventive maintenance, tell them "I never
change oil in my car and it is still running".

16. Follow these rules on every call no mater how small the problem.