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Male Sex Test (rated R)

Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by John Walsh, Jun 27, 2002.

  1. John Walsh

    John Walsh Godfather/Supporter

    Apr 22, 2002
    1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

    a) lovemaking
    b) screwing
    c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

    2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
    you've both shared:

    a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
    b) your blood-test results
    c) five tequila slammers

    3. You time your orgasm so that:

    a) your partner climaxes first
    b) you both climax simultaneously
    c) you don't miss SportsCenter

    4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

    a) healthy, creative love-play
    b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
    c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

    5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had
    sex with is:

    a) the best part of the experience
    b) the second best part of the experience
    c) $100 extra

    6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the
    last month. You tell her that it is:

    a) No concern of yours
    b) not a problem, she can join your gym
    c) a conservative estimate

    7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

    a) a myth
    b) an oxymoron
    c) a moron

    8. Foreplay is to sex as:

    a) appetizer is to entree
    b) primer is to paint
    c) a line is to an amusement park ride

    9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at
    the end of a relationship?

    a) "I hope we can still be friends."
    b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
    c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

    10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

    a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
    b) is uptight and a waste of time
    c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

    If you answered "a" more than 7 times,
    check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
    If you answered "b" more than seven times,
    check into therapy, you're still a little confused.
    If you answered "c" more than 7 times,
    "YOU DA MAN!"
  2. Steve Mehs

    Steve Mehs Hall Of Fame

    Mar 21, 2002
    C all the way :D

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