I think that depends on where you are in life. I met my wife-to-be while I was I junior in high school (summer of 96). I didn't marry her until the summer of 2000. When we met, she still had 2 years of high school left and I had a year obviously. If you start the clock when she graduated, it was nearly two years before we wed. We cohabited the entire time after she graduated. It wasn't that we weren't sure if the other was the "right" one, it was that we just weren't in a stage in our lives where we could just run out and get married without financial repercussions. I was still in college and was under my parents medical insurance still. Neither of us had a "real" job that provided benefits. Getting married would have put us in a tight place. I ended up getting a full time internship that provided more of a stable financial backing. Once I had that job, we ended up getting officially engaged about 9 months later, marrying 6 months after that. The first work day back after the honeymoon I started a full time position with benefits. In our case, it would have been foolish for us to marry in the first 2 years as one or both of us were still in high school. We could have gotten married just out of high school, but we took it slower. I don't think what we did was wrong for the relationship, just different then what may be the norm. Now that I'm a professional adult, I would agree that 4 years is probably too long.