Today was an unusually quiet work morning; no scheduled meetings/calls until the afternoon and nothing requiring immediate attention. The landline rings (I'm WFH through the end of the year) and a "gentleman" with a very Indian accent is on the line telling me that he's from Microsoft and my computer is infected with viruses. He told me his name was "Kevin English". Decide what the heck, let's play along. He guides me to the log files and "convinces" me that the 5k logged events are proof that my system is infected. Goes on to tell me there's an http connection between Microsoft and my computer that's notifying Microsoft of my problem. I thought it was odd that my company owned device that's on an encrypted vpn would alert Microsoft, and that Microsoft would have my home phone number, but I digress. He asked what I wanted to do, I told him my computer must be infected, and would he help me. Unfortunately I'm a really poor typist and have a hard time following directions. We spent 25 minutes trying to enter commands and testing the internet looking for "take support dot com" and "take support dot me". I was so distraught that we couldn't fix the problem that I told him I'd pay anything to straighten this up right now, asked him to hold while I looked for my credit card. After 37 minutes and 22 seconds he told me to f*** off. Never had anyone stay on the line much longer than 10 minutes. New PR!