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The Wife from Hell

Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by citico, Mar 26, 2010.

  1. citico

    citico Legend

    May 18, 2004
    A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

    The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

    The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.

    Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly,
    dear --you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

    As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
    and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once!!?'

    The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well, dear, you should be thankful the
    radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been

    As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
    unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
    'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

    The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your
    seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

    The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took
    it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back

    The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
    seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

    And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver
    turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

    The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always
    talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

    (I love this part)

    'Only when he's been drinking.'
  2. davring

    davring Hall Of Fame

    Jan 13, 2007
    Great, love it:)
  3. jpx5

    jpx5 Legend

    Jul 24, 2007
    Central New...
    Very Funny.....
  4. dave29

    dave29 New Member

    Feb 18, 2007
    Jesul Petes. :lol:
  5. scroll

    scroll Mentor

    Apr 10, 2010
    Caution: Don't drive with your wife when you are drunk.

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