Top Ten Things Never to Say To a Cop 1. Hold my beer so I can reach my license. 2.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 3. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 to catch up with me. 4. Are You Andy or Barney? 5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer. 6. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 7. I pay your salary! 8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer gave me a warning, too! 9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 10. I was just trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars on the road, that's how far ahead of me they are.