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'Unfair Parent' spreadsheet

Discussion in 'The OT' started by fluffybear, May 23, 2012.

  1. fluffybear

    fluffybear Hall Of Fame DBSTalk Club

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    Mrs. Fluffybear was helping clean out our 9 year old's book bag last evening and while doing so ran across a spreadsheet with a title of 'Unfair Parents'.
    As it was explained to us, 2 girls in the class created this spreadsheet and passed it out to a 4 or 5 girls and some of the cute boys.

    Page 1 of this 2 page spreadsheet tracked various actions & punishments taken by adults (scolding, time-outs, groundings, etc.). In all there are 23 different actions/punishments.

    Page 2 tracked how many times did you parents take you places (park swimming pool, Bowling, etc.). As well as how many days did you go on vacation. Page 2 also contains a small list of chores (dishes, taking out trash, vacuuming, & sweep to name a few) and how often you had do them.

    The kids were all going to get together at a party on August 11 (last big hurrah before school starts) and compre as to unfair their parents have been over the summer.
     
  2. Earl Bonovich

    Earl Bonovich Lifetime Achiever

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    Hmm... and 15 years later, they will rename that spreadsheet:
    - Parents Who Raised Us Right
    - Parents Who Gave a Damn about our future
    - Kids that had to learn the harder way
     
  3. Scott Kocourek

    Scott Kocourek Well-Known Member

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    Isn't that the truth.
     
  4. dpeters11

    dpeters11 Hall Of Fame

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    On the plus side, there are 9 year olds learning Excel.
     
  5. hdtvfan0001

    hdtvfan0001 Well-Known Member

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    Amen.

    Then again...one of those kids could end up in jail down the road no matter what the parents tried...and blame everyone (but themselves) for why they ended up there... :eek2:

    Peer pressure seems to trump parenting in too many cases today.
     
  6. Go Beavs

    Go Beavs Hall Of Fame

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    :lol: Right on the money! :lol:
     
  7. neomaine

    neomaine Legend

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    - Kids that had to learn the right way.
    or
    - Kids that had to learn responsibility.
    or
    - Kids that learned that you don't always get things done for you.
     
  8. fluffybear

    fluffybear Hall Of Fame DBSTalk Club

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    Initially, I thought there was a 'good' motive behind this spreadsheet such as these rising 4th graders tracking their behavior as summer vacation progressed in order to possibly make a case for moving the start date of school back to after Labor Day (For 2012, it is 2nd week of August & the start date is scheduled to be discussed again next fall).

    I think it was the title and true motive which shocked me most. We have told our daughter to go ahead and fill it out if she wants to do it as it might help her realize she did not have such a terrible after all. I do think though I am going to make a copy of that spreadsheet and give it to her when I finally do turn 70.
     
  9. Earl Bonovich

    Earl Bonovich Lifetime Achiever

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    Now... if they added a "note" section to the punishment column

    "What I did to warrant that grounding"
     
  10. dmspen

    dmspen Hall Of Fame DBSTalk Club

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    We always taught our kids that if they could RATIONALLY justify something, like staying out later than we said, we would seriously consider it.

    Unfortunately, in this case, as it seems in our country, a list a perceived wrongs are being kept without the 'reasons' associated with them.

    I think the parents should keep one also! Include the cost of things, like Dance classes, $60/mo etc. Then present a bill to the kids when they first bring up the spreadsheet.

    Too many people have become 'entitled' with little reason or consequence.
     
  11. RasputinAXP

    RasputinAXP Kwisatz Haderach of Cordcuttery

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    Only have one thing to say...

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Stewart Vernon

    Stewart Vernon Roving Reporter Staff Member Super Moderator DBSTalk Club

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    A kid may not have a "right" to misbehave, but they certainly have a right to an opinion about their punishments.

    I think parents sometimes read more into things than are actually there... This could easily be spun as "If you are comfortable as a parent with your parenting style, then you shouldn't be concerned how your kid might rank you on a spreadsheet" right?
     
  13. Earl Bonovich

    Earl Bonovich Lifetime Achiever

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    I gave my son a Bill two months ago, for one month of his "expenses".
    It was several hundred dollars.

    If I was to give it to him for May and June, it would be well over $1,000 because all his school costs are comming in.

    I have been trying the reasoning route with my 10yr son for years, and it doesn't work... sadly.
     
  14. Earl Bonovich

    Earl Bonovich Lifetime Achiever

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    I agree...

    It is my Job as a parent to make sure that I raise my children to be productive, well rounded, and respectable adults all at the same time, they are safe.

    Part of the job comes with being questioned, doubted, yelled at, "hated", loved, hugged, and hopefully down the line... understood....
     
  15. fluffybear

    fluffybear Hall Of Fame DBSTalk Club

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    A spreadsheet such as this can be spun in many different ways or even used against a parent (especially with this Politically Correct world we live in)
     
  16. Stewart Vernon

    Stewart Vernon Roving Reporter Staff Member Super Moderator DBSTalk Club

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    So then the parent can document a spreadsheet for their child's misbehavior and list the punishments.

    I mean, if we nitpick it to death everything is insidious. Even this thread could be used against any parent posting in it...

    Kids write in diaries (at least a lot of girls do) and you're kidding yourself if you are a parent and don't think your kid has written bad things about your parenting style in a diary.
     
  17. fluffybear

    fluffybear Hall Of Fame DBSTalk Club

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    However, I don't think parents are expecting their child's diary to be shared among the entire 4th grade.

    Seriously, as I mentioned in earlier posts this spreadsheet contains more than just punishments. It also contains activities such as # of days on an awesome vacation and # of days on a boring vacation. It also contains items such as # of times I went to the beach, # of times I went to Jump2It/Urban Jungle (indoor play parks), and # of days I went to the pool.
    Let's be honest, in the mind of a 9/10 year old (I don't mean necessarily your own) , which parent is looked upon as being unfair? The one who took the kid & went to the pool everyday at the clubhouse or the one who only went for 2 days? The one who went to sleep-way camp for 2 weeks or the one who didn't? The one who held 8 parties/sleepovers or the one who only had 2?

    I don't care if my child thinks Mrs. Fluffybear & I are the worst parent in the world because we punished them for standing there watching there 2 year old brother paint the wall and furniture with a sharpie or because they have filled there sandbox with water to create a massive mud pit, jump in it, and then run through the entire house in order to get a Steiff Teddy Bear and bury it. (FYI, neither of these have actually happened in my house :sure:) or even did not allow them to go to Miami for 2 weeks with their friends family or plan on making them do 30 minutes of school work every day during the summer. What I do mind is if someone (be it a child or parent) views a spreadsheet such as this and thinks I am unfair because I did not take my kid to Chuck E Cheese everyday.
     
  18. Marlin Guy

    Marlin Guy Hall Of Fame

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    If we'd had spreadsheets in 1978 we would have done the same thing.
    It's good to see that some things never change. :lol:
     
  19. fluffybear

    fluffybear Hall Of Fame DBSTalk Club

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    The spreadsheet itself may be fairly young but accounting systems have been around forever. In 1978, a kid who wanted to track something like this only would have had to list the items on a piece of paper and use tick marks. The fact that we did not do this in 1978 should really tell you a lot.

    In 1978, discipline was not considered so taboo. Kids also did not seem to have such high standards and expect as much. In 1978, you sassed your parent, you could very well expect a hand across the mouth. Today, even the mention of something like that could earn you a visit from child services. I still consider the road trip to Minnesota to see my Grandparents one of the best vacations of my life. Move ahead to 2010 and my neighbor took the kids on a road trip to Florida to visit their grandparents. Upon their return, the kids say it was the worst vacation of their lives and wishes it would end. Why? because they forgot to their pack of games for the DSi

    What I'm trying to say is that in 1978, I may have thought my parents or friends parents were being unfair for grounding one of us but by no means would I ever think may parents were unfair because they did not take me out to Old Tucson. Maybe the fact that both my parents worked had a lot to do with this while at least around here there is a large number of stay at home parents or parents who work from home. Come to think of it, the mother's of the two ring leaders full-time job is breaking in sofa cushions.
     
  20. Marlin Guy

    Marlin Guy Hall Of Fame

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    Yeah. We were "busy". :lol:

    [​IMG]
     

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