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Your help is desperately needed...

Discussion in 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine' started by Richard King, Sep 2, 2002.

  1. Richard King

    Richard King Hall Of Fame

    Mar 25, 2002
    This came in from several reliable sources - they really need our help.
    Forget sponsoring a poor African child. This is much more important.

    Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in our
    generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity.

    We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate
    scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a
    myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we
    must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

    Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living
    at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level.
    And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life-giving
    pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike
    situation. But you can help!

    For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a
    large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically
    viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the
    problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and
    every little bit will help!

    Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player
    it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida
    or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more
    than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical
    insurance, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily

    Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home
    entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy
    a weekend in Rio.


    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you
    sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate,
    and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing
    up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player
    lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a
    signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your
    refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.


    Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to
    help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be
    able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
    additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.


    I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below:

    [ ] Infielder
    [ ] Outfielder
    [ ] Starting Pitcher
    [ ] Ace Pitcher
    [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a
    specific team - $10 per minute)
    [ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for the
    duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I have
    sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my very own
    Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for

    Your Name: _______________________
    Telephone Number: _______________________
    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
    Signature: _______________________

    Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
    Signature: _______________________

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