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God Bless America!
2,534 Posts
** Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? **

Simple, the sun bleaches pigments, yet also damages cells. To protect themselves the damaged skin cells release more pigment to block the sun

** Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? **

Have YOU ever tried this?

** Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? **

It's not dry

** Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? **

Because any true psychic is working for satan, and doesn't want their work known

** Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? **

To make up for how short abbreviations are.

** Why is a boxing ring square? **

Looks better

** Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? **

Because it's a STICK you rub against your lips

** Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? **

Because that's what it is. They are always practicing to get better

** Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? **

Well rain can be said to fall also, but snow can never drop because snow is flakes, not drops

** Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? **

Because it is a distraction to many people

** Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? **


** Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? **

Because that's what he does to many people

** Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand? **

Because it counts seconds

** Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? **

Because everyone is rushing to get home, increasing load on the road infrastructure, slowing the average traffic speed down

** Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? **

Because dictionaries include every real English word

** Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? **

Because nobody thought they were important enough

** Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? **

Marketing to people. It would gross out way too many potential customers, even if the consumers like it.

** Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is? **

Too heavy. And the box is orange

** Can fat people go skinny-dipping? **


** Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

You don't. You need photo ID to prove you're 21. A state ID card or even a passport should work.
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