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A little Football chuckle

1197 Views 0 Replies 1 Participant Last post by  John Corn
A couple of football fans meet in a bar to talk about their predictions for the upcoming 2002 NFL season.........

...REALISTIC PANTHERS FAN:Well to be honest I think the team has improved some in the off-season and with a new coach in the mix I'm thinking we'll improve on last years record to get at least 5 wins, oh yeah and Peppers will hit around the 10 sack mark.

FIN HATING JETS FAN:The Dolphins suck! I hate those nasty fins, they've got no offence, Ricky Williams is overrated, we're definitly in the playoffs!

JETS LOATHING DOLPHIN FAN:Oh yeah? Just how far do you think old man T is gonna get you losers this year, that dude is so lame he can't even throw-up! You guys over achieved last season and you don't have a QB who can do the job if it wern't for Martin you'd have gone 10-6!

JETS FAN:But we did go 10-6.

DOLPHIN FAN:Grrrr, shutup, you're trying to confuse me

They start brawling in the background, meanwhile......

...PANTHERS FAN:Ok, how about the Bucs I think th-

BIG BUCS FAN:They're gonna win the superbowl baby!

BANDWAGON ST.LOUIS FAN:Yeah, yeah, you losers always say that, YAWN.

BUCS FAN:Screw you man, we've added a couple of so-so guys to our offense, lost some depth on defense and traded away a load of draft picks for a coach who can call offensive plays correctly, now that's a recipe for success.

ST.LOUIS FAN:We have the best offense and a top ten defense who can stop that?

PANTHERS FAN:The Patriots?

BUCS FAN:Tell me something man, where were the Rams before they moved to St.Louis?


BUCS FAN:Let me give you a hint, do the letters L-A mean anyhing to you?

ST.LOUIS FAN:Ha, that's a trick question, everyone knows the Rams were an expansion team!

BUCS FAN:Ha ha ha ha, you Rams are a joke and overrated, Warner is only good because his receivers are always open, the receivers are only always open coz everyone is watching Faulk and Faulk is only so good coz Warner takes the pressure off him.


PATRIOTS FAN WITH CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER:You guys all think your teams can win it but the only real TEAM from last season was the Pats and we're gonna repeat.

PANTHERS FAN:That's gonna be difficult, not only will everyone be trying that much harder to beat you guys but they've had a year to prepare for Tom Brady.

PATRIOTS:NO RESPECT, NO RESPECT, NO RESPECT, everyone gives us no respect, the media, the coaches, the other fans, our families but we'll show them, Tom Brady is the best QB in the league! In fact he's the best ever, move over Montana!

DELUDED RAIDERS FAN:Oh yeah? Well everyone says we're too old but we've got the experience and savvy other teams can only dream about? Who needs speed, strength, greater resistance to injuries when you've got Garner, Gannon, Rice, Brown and R.Woodson? By the way do you know what you get if you add up all the ages of the players on our roster?


RAIDERS FAN:Nope, you get 2002, coincedence? Sign of heading for cap hell? Evidence of a geriatric team? Of course not, its an omen! 2002 superbowl here we come!

SPURRIER LOVING ******* FAN:Well as long as the Cowboys suck I don't care what happens, and they will with their QBs, ha ha ha ha. We're going to the playoffs at least though coz we got great linebackers and everyone knows linebackers = championships.
COWBOY FAN:Our QBs??!?!?!? Wuerfel, Matthews and Ramsey, talk about scary. Anyways we've got 5 rings from another era so we don't care that we suck now, oh and by the way if you think we're no good, you're just jealous, if you don't like Jerry Jones you're just jealous and if you don't think Emmitt Smith is the best RB of all time then you guessed it, you're JEALOUS.

******* FAN:Jealous of your mommas water bed...


Another brawl begins...

CRAZY STEELERS FAN:Well we're destined for the superbowl.

PANTHERS FAN:Well I'll admit you have a good chance but Kordell needs to step up in the big games.

STEELERS FAN:We can get by like the Ravens did in 2000, especially with our dominant running game.

PANTHERS FAN:But the difference is that Dilfer kept turnovers to a minimum to keep the pressure off the defence.

STEELERS FAN:So Kordell always chokes in the big games, big deal, we signed James Farrior and he had over 100 tackles last year. Everyone knows the more tackles you have the better player you are so Farrior is right up there with the best!


MOSS IS GOD VIKINGS FAN:We may not win the superbowl next year, we may not make the championship game next year, we may not even make the playoffs but at least Moss is the best receiver in the NFL.

FAVRE IS THE UNIVERSE PACKER FAN:I don't like Moss so he's not the best, in fact I don't like him so much that he's not even good

VIKINGS FAN:But he was double, triple, quaddrupel, hell is there a word for 6 men? Well he faced that many teams last year on some plays and he still got the ball. His attitude is also improving at the end of last season instead of telling an official to drop dead, he merely said "get lost".

PACK FAN:Well we've got an ok looking defense, of course Brett Favre and Terry Glenn, the obvious missing link to our team from last season. 6ints in the playoffs is no longer a possibility oh and by the way, none of those were Brett's fault, just the receivers.

VIKING FAN:Well we- oh screw it, I'll just whoop you.

A mass brawl ensues and isn't helped when a bunch of Browns fans enter claiming their overrated defense and anaemic offense is gonna take them to the playoffs. They turn out to be carrying 400 plastic bottles between the 3 of them and they begin hurling them everywhere. The brawl is eventually stopped when a Bungals fan enters declaring a 1st round no.10 pick LT the saviour of all their problems bringing laughs from everyone.
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