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Announcement. For Immediate Release - 6/6/2012
Singer-Songwriter Adele has been scheduled to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom for her contribution to what CIA and NSA officials are calling, "the most effective enemy interrogation technique ever....ever!"
The security agencies have completed almost a year of testing the new technique. While they are tight-lipped on the exact details, they are emphatic about the results.
"On average, even the most hardened detainees fold in about 34 seconds. We don't even have to ask them a question. They simply jam their fingers in their ears and start blabbering secrets as loudly as they can.
There have been several documented cases of bleeding from the ears, but it clears up within an hour or so after cessation of the program."
Singer-Songwriter Adele has been scheduled to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom for her contribution to what CIA and NSA officials are calling, "the most effective enemy interrogation technique ever....ever!"
The security agencies have completed almost a year of testing the new technique. While they are tight-lipped on the exact details, they are emphatic about the results.
"On average, even the most hardened detainees fold in about 34 seconds. We don't even have to ask them a question. They simply jam their fingers in their ears and start blabbering secrets as loudly as they can.
There have been several documented cases of bleeding from the ears, but it clears up within an hour or so after cessation of the program."