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· Hall Of Fame
13,245 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am specifically putting this in the Laughter forum. These are take offs from political ads that a columnist at the Des Moines Register wrote. I am NOT linking the rest of his column because it could be taken as political, although he pretty even handedly makes fun of all parties and many local candidates. None of these advocates or criticizes any actual candidate of party. In the midst of disgust over the constant political ads currently running, I think these are hilarious. I would invite others to come up with their own. However, if this thread is considered to be outside the rules by the moderators they are asked to please delete it. AT THE FIRST ATTEMPT TO ADD AN "AD" THAT MAKES A COMMENT ABOUT ANY PARTICULAR CANDIDTATE OR PARTY I ASK THE MODERATORS TO IMMEDIATELY DELETE THE THREAD. Just have fun with it. :)

Stern voice-over: She ran away from home and got swept up in an alternative lifestyle. She hung around with gutless, heartless and brainless men. And lots and lots of midgets.

And to make matters worse, she killed an old woman. An accident? You be the judge.

Dorothy Gale. She's not from Kansas anymore.

You might say she's "Gone Oz."

* * *

He invites you to come on down and play. He teases you with new cars and exotic trips and fancy boats. But if your price isn't right, he sweeps you aside and chooses someone else.

Bob Barker.

Don't be fooled.

He. Just. Doesn't. Care.

* * *

She cared for the sick, the poor, the dying.

Nobody could be that good.

Mother Teresa.

What was in it for her?

And Francis: Assisi or a saint? You decide.

* * *

The kids are whining, the wife is tired, and the bill collectors are banging on the door.

And you wonder: Just what the hell was Norman Vincent Peale so positive about?

Happy people. You just can't trust 'em.

* * *

Screen shows suburban home. Creepy organ music plays.

He knows where you live.

He'll break in, in the dead of night.

He's overweight, he smokes, and he'll eat your cookies while you sleep.

He knows when you've been naughty or nice.

He works one day a year. And those elves — what's up with that?

Santa Claus: Jolly toy-deliverer or rogue foreign spy?

Why take chances?

Show the fat man the door.

· Hall Of Fame
4,351 Posts
You're cold.

You're homeless.

You're starving.

And yet, there he stands in his freshly laundered clothes, coming off the boat and standing judgement of you and all your friends. He won't lift a finger to help you - all he does is call out commentary on your struggles.

Jeff Probst.

Is THIS who you want in charge?
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