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Heaven or Hell?

It comes to the end of Bill Gates long, successful life, he finds
himself in the Purgatory waiting room, when God enters...

"Well, Bill," says God, "I'm confused. I'm not sure whether to send you to
Heaven or Hell: you helped society enormously by putting a computer in
almost every home in the world, and yet you've also created some of the most
unearthly frustrations known to mankind. I'm going to do something I've
never done before: I'm going to let you choose where you want to go.

Bill replies, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God says, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly to help you
make your decision."

"Okay, where should I go first?" asks Bill.

God says, "That's up to you."

Bill says, "OK, let's try Hell first."

So Bill goes to Hell. It's a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
waters. There are thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in
the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun is shining, the
temperature is just right. The whole thing looks perfect, and Bill is very
pleased. "This is great!" he tells God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to
see Heaven!"

"Fine," says God, and off they go.

Heaven is a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing
harps and singing. It very nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thinks for
a moment and announces his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell." he tells

"Fine," says God, "As you desire." So Bill Gates is taken to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decides to check up on Bill to see how he's doing in
Hell. When God arrives in Hell, he finds Bill shackled to a wall, screaming
amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He's being burned and tortured by

"How's everything going, Bill?" God asks.

Bill replies, his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful,
it's not what I expected at all, I can't believe it. What happened to that
other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

God smiles and says, "That was the screen saver."
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