Joined
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54 Posts
Monday, January 12, 2002 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
From: Bin Laden, Osama
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together
as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that
says: "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There,
Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we
can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly, I have a few concerns
...........
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't
want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've
posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're
taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while
we're taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not
supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,
especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on
the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.
Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying
to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, Eric and Bob.
Love you lots.
"O" or "U"
Whatever my name starts with..............
To: Cavemates
From: Bin Laden, Osama
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together
as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that
says: "There is no 'I' in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There,
Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we
can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly, I have a few concerns
...........
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't
want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've
posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're
taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while
we're taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not
supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,
especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on
the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.
Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying
to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, Eric and Bob.
Love you lots.
"O" or "U"
Whatever my name starts with..............
