Five kinds of sex

The first is Smurf Sex.
This happens during the honeymoon;
you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

The second is Kitchen Sex.
This is at the beginning of the marriage;
you'll have sex anywhere, anytime. Hence, also in the kitchen.

The third kind is Bedroom Sex.
You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids,
so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

The fourth kind is Hallway Sex.
This is where you pass each other in the hallway
and say, "F**k you!"

There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex.
This is when you get divorced
and your wife f**ks you in front of everyone in court.