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These stories are guaranteed to make you feel smart!

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Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could order six,
nine or twelve Chicken Mc Nuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't
have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen
nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." she said. I ordered six McNuggets.

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I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things
so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she
picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said
"I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I
paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

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A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it
out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she
was using the ATM "thingy."

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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need
some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery
to this remote door un locker. Now I can't get into my car. Pointing to a distant
convenience store, she asked Do you think they would have a battery to fit this?"
Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy",
she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk."

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Several years ago, we had a summer intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper --
what do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper", the secretary told her. With that,
the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier
and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

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I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked the service
manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

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My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One
night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you have a fire downtown?"

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Police in Radnor Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head
and connecting it with fake wires running to a photocopier. The message "He's lying"
was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
confessed.

~~~~~~

A young mother called 911 very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her
child to the emergency room. It seems the kid had been eating ants. The dispatcher tells
her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother says, but I just gave him
some ant killer... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

~~~~~~

"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."
 
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