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IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, all our office phones went
dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people.
They promised to be out between 8:00a.m. and 7:00 p.m
When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window,
the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you
before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would
be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also
requested that we report future outages by email.
(Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit card
purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my
name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that
she could not complete the transaction unless the card was
signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was
necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the
receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She
carefully compared the signature to the one I had just
signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: too many
deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local
Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at
the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put
anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which
I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes
when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an
intellectually-challenged coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old
and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to
"downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is
fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who
plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life
of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn

IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an
automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the
keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know I
already got that side."
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