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· Registered
2,792 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,

A carton of eggs,

A quart of orange juice,

A head of romaine lettuce,

A 2 lb. can of coffee,

And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a

drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of

the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk

calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was

intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly

unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to

her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,

you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly

· Hall Of Fame
4,481 Posts
at the karoke bar, Greg shows the telltale signs of being wasted.
First, he is at a karoke bar.
he tells the waitress she can be his backup singer.
Greg asks his buddy if he has met his back up singer.
Greg takes another drink and realizes he is not sitting with his buddy.
Greg spends the next hour looking for the perfect song, in the menu
Greg realizes he cannot read the screen, He explains that he can't read no gobbledgoop. He decides to freestyle rap. He repeats the line" I don't read no Gobbledegoop, Boy"
The Power is cut, and Greg offers to sign autographs out back.
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