[John Corn]

The following are Error Messages that were planned for Windows 2000:


Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.

Close your eyes and press escape three times.

Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner.

This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

Windows message: "You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain?"

This is a message from God: "Rebooting the universe, please log off."

Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

BREAKFAST.SYS halted...Cereal port not responding.

COFFEE.SYS missing...Insert cup and press any key.

CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Reboot Washington D.C? (Y/N)

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER.

User Error: Replace User.

Windows Virus Scan 1.0 - "OS/2 found: Remove it: (Y/Y)

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic.

 

[Dmitriy]

:rolling:

 

[Rick_EE]

How about- "Please keep pressing keys randomly, I'm sure the problem will go away." (know anyone like this?)

 

[Nick]

The old bail, "Abort, Retry, Fail" never worked for me. I found that inserting a slice of Kraft american cheese in the floppy drive usually improved things.

I don't know if it's true or not, but I've heard that Windows XP now comes with a six pack and a sample of Zanax.

I use five different firewalls -- not that I'm paranoid or anything -- but, now when I boot, the five of 'em duke it out to be in charge. I finally set them up to take turns Mon-Fri, and on weekends I let the parrot keep an eye on traffic. He squawks whenever the hit window pops up. Pretty cool, huh?

Whoops, gotta go. Time for my medication.

The Nickster :smoking: