Joined
·
5,047 Posts
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," -- Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
body,"-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime
rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees," -- Jason
Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.
We are the president!," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice
President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca
"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &
sports analyst.
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people. -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable." -- Dan Quayle
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I
have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could
converse with those people." -- Dan Quayle, VP
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we
stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce." -- Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the
night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
body,"-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime
rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees," -- Jason
Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers.
We are the president!," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice
President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca
"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &
sports analyst.
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people. -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable." -- Dan Quayle
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I
have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could
converse with those people." -- Dan Quayle, VP
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we
stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce." -- Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the
night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S.
