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· Hall Of Fame
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1,120 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I figured you could all benefit from some insider advice on how the game will play out, since I am a Bobcat living in Columbus. Here's the analysis of the key matchups:

HEAD COACH:
Frank Solich comes from a winning tradition at Nebraska, being a coach on 3 national championship teams. Jim Tressel coached under Earl Bruce, who wore that silly feather hat to the bowl game, and some D2 school. Frank Solich was found passed out behind the wheel of his car. Jim Tressel goes to charity functions and sips champagne. Frank Solich is a tough former running back. Jim Tressel is a midget in a sweater vest. Frank Solich has a name that could be said in the same gravely voice reserved for the likes of Mike Ditka, Ray Nitsche, and other tough guys. Jim Tressel's name rhymes with Thin Tassel, which is weak as all get out.
ADVANTAGE: Bobcats

OFFENSIVE LINE:
Both teams are starting five players, and they all sweat a lot.
ADVANTAGE: Push

QUARTERBACK:
The Bobcats are using a seasoned veteran from the same system that produced Brady Quinn. The Buckeyes can't decide whether to use the guy who lost last years title game, or some freshman.
ADVANTAGE: Bobcats

WIDE RECEIVER:
The Bobcats have traditionally been a running team, so their receivers should be fresh and ready to play. The Buckeyes have 16 different people listed at receiver, and can only put 11 players on the field at any time, so they won't have had much practice time.
ADVANTAGE: Bobcats

RUNNING BACK:
The Bobcats players are taking over for Kalvin McRae, who set all kinds of team records. They learned from the best. The Buckeyes have a 'star' named - get this - Beanie! And he might not even play. Why? Because, he hurt his widdwe toe. At least, that's what his MOM was quoted in the paper as saying.
ADVANTAGE: Bobcats

DEFENSIVE BACKFIELD:
Everyone knows that shorter is better here. That's why so many corners are short, and wide receivers are tall.
ADVANTAGE: Bobcats

DEFENSIVE LINE/LINEBACKERS:
The Buckeyes star is the son of former WWF great, Road Warrior Animal. No contest.
ADVANTAGE: Buckeyes

So, when you look at things objectively, it seems clear who the winner will be. I pick the Bobcats to roll over the buckeyes in the Battle of Route 33, final score 73-2.
 

· Hall Of Fame
Joined
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1,120 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Nope, the OP is an OU alum, living in the Columbus suburbs. And, while I agree with the amscots, that's such a played analogy (I'm from Toledo, originally, right in between the Wolverines and Buckeyes) that it was left off intentionally.

However, I'm guessing Razorbacks don't need to worry about it, so no worries there.
 

· Hall Of Fame
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1,120 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hey, we outplayed OSWho for much of the game. I'm plenty proud of what happened, but still wanted a win. Coulda maybe had it if that block in the back was called on the return, but 4 picks is a lot to overcome no matter what (unless you play Michigan;) )
 

· Godfather
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290 Posts
ProfLonghair said:
Hey, we outplayed OSWho for much of the game. I'm plenty proud of what happened, but still wanted a win. Coulda maybe had it if that block in the back was called on the return, but 4 picks is a lot to overcome no matter what (unless you play Michigan;) )
Nice job!:lol: The only problem now is that OSU will NEVER schedule you again.:rolleyes:
 
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