G
Guest
·You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
Your boat has not left the driveway in more than 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than rake it.
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they do not want it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think a Subdivision is part of a math problem
You bath with flea and tick soap.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your house does not have curtains but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their bathrooms so clean.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You sit on the roof at Christmastime hoping to get your deer quota.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
The biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-mart.
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
You thought Unibomber was a wrestler.
You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
Your neighbors think you are a detective because a cop always brings you home.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvement.
You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.
Someone tells you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
Your boat has not left the driveway in more than 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than rake it.
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they do not want it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think a Subdivision is part of a math problem
You bath with flea and tick soap.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your house does not have curtains but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their bathrooms so clean.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You sit on the roof at Christmastime hoping to get your deer quota.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
The biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-mart.
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
You thought Unibomber was a wrestler.
You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
Your neighbors think you are a detective because a cop always brings you home.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvement.
You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.
Someone tells you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
